[missymoo]

I have taken the exams on and off since 2001 and during this time I have had two children (now ages 5 and 7). Back in my earlier test taking times I would pass a part here and there but of course those parts didn’t count because I could never get two parts at one time. I started back up studying in January of this year with my husbands full support. Took my first audit exam in May and failed. Then my husband and I decided that Beckers would be the way to go and paid the large sum of money so I retook the audit exam in July and failed. Now I feel non-stop pressure from my husband. He gets aggitated when I leave the house to go study (kids are too loud and I can’t study at home). I will study at Starbucks for 8 hours a week. I will study at home after the kids go to bed but my husband even gets aggitated with that because he wants me to lie in bed with him. Then I am up until 3 am studying because this is the only time I get alone. I have talked to him and he says he wants to spend time with me. Now tonight he asked me if this studying thing was going to be an everynight occurence? He swears up and down that he supports me and will do everything he can to help me but everytime I tell him how I feel we just get in a huge argument.

I want this CPA because it is a goal of mine at this point. I have been pushing for it for so many years now.

I am wondering if any of you have gone through a similar experience?

[mla1169]

The bottom line is that he's sabotaging you. Maybe you could share this message board with him so he can see the huge time investment that is necessary to pass. Decide when you will study and tell him that is your schedule. Period. Maybe get a sitter occasionally instead of having him watch the kids and resent your studying. There is no good reason you should be up until 3am to accomodate his selfishness.

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[Red315]

I agree that he is hurting you. I am just like you I have a 5 and 7 year old. My husband supports me fully. He never sees me. Does he complain occassionally? Absolutely. Does he try to stop me? No. He knows how important this is. Maybe your husband doesn't understand the committment that this is going to take from you.

I study after the kids go to be for about 2 hour and all day saturday and sunday. My husband and I don't do anything together as my studies are now a priority. He takes the kids out of the house on the weekend so I can get quiet time.

This is the kind of support that you need from your husband and not the whining. If he isn't behind you on this it is going to be very hard for you to succeed. He is basically asking you to choose him over the CPA exam even though he would never say that. Remind him that this is a temporary committment.

Jeanne Aparicio

B - 75 (11/2011, First Attempt)
A - 88 (2/2012, First Attempt)
R - 89 (5/2012, First Attempt)
F - 79 (8/31/2012 First Attempt)

I AM DONE!!!!!! BECKER IS AWESOME!!!!

Licensed Florida CPA 09/2012

[missymoo]

Thank you for your responses. His big argument that he keeps throwing out to me is that he would like to see a passing grade that way he knows that all my studying is actually paying off. I have had two fails since January. I do like the idea of a sitter.

Red315, you have an incredible spouse who you should go up and give a big kiss to right now for all the support.

[Red315]

Believe me I know! But the stress you are dealing with isn't going to help you pass. By him throwing that in your face is definitely not going to boost your self esteem and you really need that to pass these tests! I am grateful that I am almost done and I would not have been able to do it with his support.

You deserve his support even if you fail a section!

Jeanne Aparicio

B - 75 (11/2011, First Attempt)
A - 88 (2/2012, First Attempt)
R - 89 (5/2012, First Attempt)
F - 79 (8/31/2012 First Attempt)

I AM DONE!!!!!! BECKER IS AWESOME!!!!

Licensed Florida CPA 09/2012

[mla1169]

If he wants to see a passing grade he's going to have to actually get on board. You're running a marathon while tied to the bumper of a parked car and he's asking why you're not going anywhere? Most people have to study 100+ (even 200 sometimes) hours per section. If he's thinking 5 or 6 hours a week (at 3am no less!) is ever going to get you a pass he is mistaken.

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[Anonymous]

@missymoo – I have been in your shoes and it ain't a fun place to be. Finally I took enough and said “If you would grow up and let me do what I need to do then I would have a passing grade to show you. So if you think you can do any better than I am, then get after it.” and then I threw the Wiley FAR book at him Once the huge red whelp on his forehead stopped throbbing he apologized for being an insensitive jerk and has been much more understanding. Now, before I get hate mail or investigated by the Sheriff's office, I didn't “intend” to hit him in the head with the book. He was sitting at the kitchen table and I tried to throw it on the table and it hit him. I'm a girl, I can't throw, sue me! He still has moments now and then when he starts to act like a child but I just surround myself with books, i.e., projectiles, and he goes in the bedroom to sulk. You have just got to figure out what works for you. I'm sure my solution wouldn't work for anyone else. Good Luck!

[joshuahuskers]

Show him the video where Peter Olinto tells you to tell your husband or wife to “get off your back”

All joking aside, I agree with what everyone has said on here. Your husband needs to understand how much work it really takes to pass. Do you have any friends who have taken the CPA exam? Maybe they can tell him how much work it is.

AUD - 99 (7/31/12)
FAR - 90 (8/29/12)
REG - 10/2012
BEC - 10-11/2012

[gtown2010]

Yes, if anything show him this site. I've passed my first two exams on the first try, but I spent easily 30+hrs a week studying for 4-5 weeks per section. You have to do what it takes.

FAR: 84
REG: 85
BEC: 83
AUD: 10/12/12

[jenuno01]

Are you studying until 3am everyday? If so, not that I disagree with all the advice given here, but from a guy's standpoint, I can understand where your husband's coming from. I would want my wife to be in bed with me at night too. Can you possibly wake up early in the morning instead of staying up until 3am?

Compromise with him. Don't let these exams hurt your marriage, it's not worth it.

Class of 2012

[helen2012cpa]

Is he really joking? It is CPA! In my opinion, first discuss the issue with him and find the time! Then you can focus on your study. Otherwise there is no point of you starting to study and to stop again and again, it will be frustrating for you…………..You really need time to pass the CPA exam and he has to help you. I am studying while taking care of an infant. My husband comes from work and take care of the baby and in the weekends too. You really need time. And it is ok to fail before passing. I have failed BEC 3 times before i passed………failed AUD once before i passed and i am taking REG for the second time………….that is the story of many people in the forum.

[missymoo]

Kricket…I love your solution! I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have wanted to do that, you just have the balls to actually do it! You go girl! I don't agree with the guys perspective either…why do you want your wife in bed with you?What is the difference if I am just lying in bed sleeping next to him or if I am in the other room studying at 3am? To me there is no difference. If I am at home studying while everyone is awake or even my husband is awake he makes me feel guilty so I study while everyone is sleeping.

Today, during conversation, I slipped in how many hours Becker suggests that candidates study for. I am hoping that got his attention.

Maybe waking up at 4am to study is a better solution instead of staying up until all hours of the night though? I may give that one a try.

[Red315]

Its just not fair. Your doing this for both of you. I was thinking about this today. Ask him to give you ample time for the next 3 months with no whining or complaining and LOTS of time to study. See if you pass a section, if you do that will be proof positive that the time you are not getting to study is why you haven't passed yet!

Jeanne Aparicio

B - 75 (11/2011, First Attempt)
A - 88 (2/2012, First Attempt)
R - 89 (5/2012, First Attempt)
F - 79 (8/31/2012 First Attempt)

I AM DONE!!!!!! BECKER IS AWESOME!!!!

Licensed Florida CPA 09/2012

[Minimorty]

@missymoo – Tell your husband that if he was pulling down a couple hundred thousand a year you wouldnt have to study at all!

In all seriousness, your husband is being incredibly selfish. You shouldnt have to study until 3am or wake up at 4am to get some studying hours in. You should be able to study when you want, where you want, and your husband should do everything in his power to accommodate that.

[G35]

Like everyone said, I don't think he has any idea how much effort you need to pour into this exam. I would let him study a chapter and quiz him on it at the end of the day. I guarantee you he will bail in less than 5 minutes. That should put things into perspective for him.

AUD 88 | FAR 79 | BEC 81 | REG 82 |

[missymoo]

You all are so helpful and have reconfirmed my original thoughts. I was starting to think that maybe I was the one who was doing something wrong. I am going to sit down and have a serious discussion with him to let him know that this situation isn't working. It is so difficult to try to juggle being a mom and working full time…plus trying to deal with a needy husband. Also, trying to keep up with housework on top of it. It is enough to drive a person to the brink of insanity!!!! You all are awesome and I commend every one of you mothers (and non-mothers) who have passed the exam.

[Author]

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