Certified Corrupt Accountant (joke thread)

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    Topic
  • #169266
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    We all know that the CPA profession strives for the highest ethical standards.

    But the other side does not want to be left out, so they have started their own exam and certification for accountants who are corrupt and slimy 🙂 So what questions would be on that exam? Post your joke questions here 🙂

    =======================

    1) You have found out that a well connected crony’s house is not listed on the property tax rolls. As a result, he pays no property taxes to the county. What time is your tee time on the golf course, paid for by the crony?

    2) Your office has received an invoice from a paving company run by a powerful politician. The paving was not even done. How many times do you pay the invoice?

    3) A scumbag, a lawyer and a politician walk into a bar. Do you address him as “Sir” or “Senator”?

Viewing 13 replies - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #339764
    Texas27
    Member

    While collecting evidence during an audit of a well known electronics company, an auditor noticed that a client's management had been falsifying sales in order to boost sub-par earnings at the end of the reporting period. As a result, this caused a material misstatement of $500 million on the financial statements and also questioned the client's ability to continue as a going concern. How much did the auditor bill the client for an unqualified audit report without making any changes to the financial statements? Assume the auditor's effective tax rate is 25%.

    BEC - Feb 2012: 80
    AUD - Feb 2012: 84
    FAR - Apr 2012: 78
    REG - May 2012: 90

    Thanks Becker!

    #339765
    makinthemagic
    Participant

    You work for the City of Chicago in payroll. While entering the latest payroll info, you notice several friends and attractive women are not being paid much. What is the correct solution?

    a) enter the payroll as it is and verify all totals tie out

    b) ask your supervisor if you should run a supplemental payroll for these people

    c) sweep the office for bugs planted by the FBI

    d) take a leave of absence for an unspecified disability and take a job with another local government so you can earn a 2nd pension.

    Bec 4/11/11 91
    Aud 7/11/11 75
    Reg 8/31/11 80
    Far 5/24/11 86
    Ethics - 98
    California Licensed CPA
    Illinois Registered CPA

    #339766
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    A ghost pay-roller enters your office and asks to cash his paycheck. How much of the check is funneled to your superiors, assuming standard rates?

    #339767
    jenuno01
    Member

    While auditing the Accounts Payable Transaction Cycle at the Client's office, an Accounting Clerk approaches you to confess that the Controller often circumvents the controls in place by approving vendors, vouchers, sending out payments, and reconciling the bank accounts without secondary reviews. What is the course of action according to CCA standard #45550F?

    a) Have a closed-door meeting with the Controller to recommend the immediate termination of the Accounting Clerk on the grounds of insubordination and defamation

    b) Turn the whole scenario around and accuse the Accounting Clerk of fraud

    c) Make note of the situation and include it in the Temporary File

    d) Increase test of controls

    Class of 2012

    #339768
    herbert7890
    Participant

    I like this ; )

    FAR 88 - BEC 86 - AUD 90 - REG 85

    #339769
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You are working on a project for a major client, and are in charge of disbursements. A politician approaches you and asks you for a bribe in order to obtain a permit that is needed for your project to be a success. Your choice will be:

    A) Pay with Visa

    B) Pay with MasterCard

    C) Pay with Discover

    D) Pay with cash in a white envelope

    #339770
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Two questions with the following information:

    You are a certified corrupt accountant. You have one brother that is a doctor. He has 3 nurses and one receptionist at his office. He lives on a “farm” with zero livestock and zero crops. Another brother is a lawyer with 2 secretaries and one receptionist. He also lives on a “farm” with zero livestock and zero crops. Both brothers have incorporated their businesses.

    1. How much should the lawyer brother accrue in payroll taxes at the end of the year?

    A. What are payroll taxes?

    B. None, all of the people in his office meet the definition of contract employees.

    C. What is this “accrue” word that you used? Does it have something to do with accounting?

    D. All of the above.

    2. What is the amount that doctor brother can deduct for meals for the people working in his office and how much can he deduct for farming expenses if he earned $2,750,000 in the current year?

    A. All of the meals eaten by the people working in the office whether he paid for them or not; and $2,749,999 in farming expenses.

    B. Half of the meals he paid for; and 1/2 of his income from being a doctor in farming expenses.

    C. Half of the meals eaten by the people working in his office less a $100 threshold; 100% of his earned income can be eliminated by farming expenses less a $2,750 threshold.

    D. None of the above. He can build a new indoor pool house to the “farm” and call it a medical expense therefore eliminating any and all taxable income.

    #339771
    Tina82
    Member

    There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question “how much is 2+2?”

    The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, “It lies between 3.98 and 4.02”.

    The mathematician said, “In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof.”

    The physicist declared, “It's in the magnitude of 1×101.”

    The logician paused for a long while and then said, “This problem is solvable.”

    The social worker said, “I don't know the answer, but I a glad that we discussed this important question.

    The attorney stated, “In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4.”

    The trader asked, “Are you buying or selling?”

    The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, “What would you like it to be?”

    courtesy of: https://www.workjoke.com/accountants-jokes.html

    R - 74;88
    A - 84
    B - 74;89
    F - no study = 67; May 15 = 87 & done

    #339772
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You're preparing the tax return for your largest client, the drug dealer down the street.

    He gives you his list of expenses. Choose the best answer.

    A) Deduct COGS

    B) Deduct COGS + G&A

    C) Deduct neither A or B, any income they want to report is all taxable

    D) You don't report anything because the audit risk is too great.

    #339773
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Bribes to politicians are recorded on the books as

    A) General and Administrative Expenses

    B) Consulting Fees

    C) Miscellaneous Expense

    D) All of the Above

    #339774
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Payments to prostitutes for services rendered paid for by using the company credit card are recorded as:

    A) Cost of Goods sold

    B) Consultant expense

    C) Salaries Expense

    D) Wages Expense

    #339775
    herbert7890
    Participant

    B) Consultant expense ? ; )

    FAR 88 - BEC 86 - AUD 90 - REG 85

    #339776
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @herbert7890: The fun part of the CCA (Certified Corrupt Accountant) exam is that there are no correct answers unless you pay the required bribe 🙂

    It is also more fun to make up the questions for the exam 🙂


    Payments to the Mafia for “protection money” are recorded on the books as:

    A) License expense

    B) Consultant expense

    C) Employee benefit expense

    D) Insurance expense

Viewing 13 replies - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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