How do you get family to understand that you need to study.

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  • #190958
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    So, I still live at home for now (in the process of finding a house), but lately my family just doesn’t understand that I need to study. My mom keeps asking me to go shopping with her and I say I can’t I need to study and then she gets my dad to try to guilt me and I flip out. I’m starting to get overwhelmed because I am a family person but they don’t seem to understand that right now all I can do is study. Then, I have family telling me to quit because it has taken me a little while to pass tests and I keep getting close but not passing. I have almost reached my breaking point.

Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)
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  • #659380
    Hammer
    Participant

    Stay the course. I had a similar experience when I first started studying. Family, Friends, Girlfriend, none of them knew how serious I was and how much I would be studying. I just kept saying no EVERY SINGLE TIME they asked me to do something. The eventually took the hint and stopped bothering me.

    I wasn't mean about it. And I wouldn't even entertain an argument about it. I would just calmly say “sorry I can't, and this isn't open to any type of discussion or argument.” If they wanted to argue or discuss, I would just COMPLETELY IGNORE THEM. Harsh? Maybe. Necessary? Absolutely.

    FAR - 70, 81
    AUD - 83
    BEC - 77
    REG - 70, 78

    Licensed in Ohio.

    Now what the hell do I do?

    #659381
    Mamabear
    Member

    I set a study schedule and told everyone which days were my study days. If they wanted to do something with me, they needed to pick a day that was not a study day. It actually helps you and them to have a set schedule. Don't let anyone tell you to quit. People that don't go through this don't understand the time it may take. If you want it, keep gong for it.

    CPA Exam - Finally DONE (November 2014)
    BEC (08/10/13) 80
    AUD (08/24/13) 65 (11/13/13) 85
    FAR (04/12/14) 81
    REG (07/19/14) 69 (11/29/14) 87!!

    #659382
    mla1169
    Participant

    I agree with mama bear. Pick your study time and let your mom work around that. Give her 2-3 hours of shopping time. I'm positive you spend more time than that arguing then stewing over it. You'll be able to focus more clearly afterward.

    FAR- 77
    AUD -49, 71, 84
    REG -56,75!
    BEC -75

    Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

    #659383
    SeaPeaYay
    Participant

    I asked my wife to spend an evening reading posts on this forum. It helped her understand a lot. Like the stress/anxiety, the walking out of an exam not knowing if you pass and then doing fairly decent, the amount of sacrifice others are also putting into studying etc.

    My suggestion, ask your family to spend an hour or two reading this forum.

    FAR 10/18/14... 82
    REG 11/18/14... 87
    AUD 01/06/15... 71 Grrr 5/06/2015 ... 73 Doh 7/13/15 ... 69 Ack 11/18/15 ... 86!!!
    BEC 02/07/15... 79

    #659384
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I asked my husband to read the NINJA study guide so he would understand the commitment involved. He has been so supportive since. I am glad I asked him to read it in the beginning instead of during the middle of my studies. I feel we are on the same page now.

    #659385
    On2Sum
    Member

    A little white lie never hurt. People have lied for much worse than CPA exam preparation. Especially when what you're doing is for the long run benefit of you and your family. Tell them you are working on a special project at work. Pack your study materials and head to a school library somewhere. This will also reduce the inquiries about how you did on the exams. That way you just lower the boom them when you get your 76 on that dreaded FAR

    FAR - 79
    REG - 76
    AUD - 94
    BEC - 77

    DONE! DONE!! DONE!!!

    "Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts"
    -Winston Churchill

    #659386
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thanks everyone. I do try and make time, but they think they can push that time. Like I already give her a night out for dinner, but they just try and say you can't just not study for a couple hours besides that time and I try to explain. With it being my parents you think they would be supportive and want what is best for me, and I feel bad saying no but I want to pass and I try to tell them the more I do stuff with you the longer I am going to be studying because I'm going to fail.

    #659387
    Leach2587
    Member

    I think you should try to go to the library or somewhere else to study. I have to do that most times cause its impossible to study at home. I had that issue with an employer. They thought happy hour was more important than studying. You should also try and make a schedule and stick to it. Those things helped me.

    BEC – 73, 74, 81

    AUD – 71, 79

    REG- 69

    FAR – 66 Retake 1/11/2015

    #659388
    Jstubb
    Member

    I just posted a very similar post, mine was much more of a rant of frustration, just recently. The advice given to you is spot on to what I received. It's tough for me, isolating and lonely – plus the fact of being scared and stressed all the time. Everyone here helped me remember my goal and not to let a short term sacrifice and the misunderstanding / peer pressure of others get me low or give up. It's our time to be selfish, and in a better sense of the word: we're excercising self care by committing to something that is important to us individually : not being around to always please other people has definetly changed dynamics of many of my relationships.

    AUD: Nov2014 81
    FAR: Jan2015
    BEC: Feb2015
    REG: Apr2015
    Using Becker

    #659389
    marti1nd
    Member

    @AMK – Do you work already? If so, just go into the office early and study for 1.5 hours and then stay then stay at the office another 1.5 hours after work. That way whenver you are at home, people will know that you are available.

    BEC: 10/2013 71
    AUD: 12/2013 75
    BEC: 02/2014 89
    REG: 05/2014 86
    FAR: 11/2014 81

    #659390
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thanks everyone for all the awesome advice! Definitely going to use it. It's even helpful to just talk about it with other people going through the same thing to keep me from breaking down.

    #659391
    acctaks
    Participant

    I go through everything twice. The first time through it's at my pace and I'll actually go out with friends/family. After that I schedule my exam a couple of weeks out and everyone knows not to even ask. My second time through is crunch time. I reread and rework everything. So, maybe you can find a balance that works for you. I live alone so it is easier but it's still hard. There are many forms of distractions. Especially when I drive over an hour to get home from work. Then I have to eat dinner. By that time it's past 8. I'm just trying to say that you may have to go out of your way to get this done.

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    I'm a CPA!

    #659392

    I went through this while going back to school to get my MBA, then while studying for my CFE, and now my family completely dreads that I want to study for the CPA exam. I'm married and have 3 kids, and I'm mostly the “planner” in the family, so I just planned things around my studying time and I took my books everywhere I went in case we had some “down time”. It drove my husband crazy and he gave me a dirty look every time I said I had to study. My mom and sister gave me a hard time too because I never saw them anymore. What they didn't realize was that this just made it more stressful on me. I felt guilty and couldn't focus all of my attention on my studying, so I would have been better off to just go and do what they wanted me to. Most of my studying was done at night when everyone was in bed because I could actually focus during that time. It didn't matter to everyone else that I was only sleeping 2 or 3 hours a night as long as I was spending time with them. And looking back, I'm glad I did make some time for them (even though it wasn't a lot) because I don't remember how tired I was from not sleeping, but I do remember the good times I still had with my family! Just find your balance – look at what you're spending your time doing. You may have to give up some sleep or something else that's occupying your time that's not quite as important as spending time with family. Good Luck!

    #659393
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    If your parents are giving you a hard time about studying, just tell them that you need this in order to be financially able to take care of them when they retire.

    Reinforce this idea by talking about all the bad nursing homes they could be in if you don't get your CPA.

    And don't lie about it. Nothing good ever comes out of lying.

    #659394
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I do make time for them, they just think that I should still be able to do everything they ask every time they ask. I agree they don't realize that it makes more stress on me when they do that to me, and I do have trouble focusing. Yesterday I was about to cry because my parents were trying to make me feel guilty. I get upset that they think I really like saying no to them and I don't understand why they don't understand. You think they would want to encourage me. My sister can be the same way.

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