I was getting requests for a thread like this - so here it is!

I was getting requests for a thread like this - so here it is!
Married, with 3 year old and another due in December. Life is good. Very very good.
The key to balance for me has been following on weekends:
Study for about an hour in the am when i get up. Usually from about 8-9 or 9-10. Then i have the entire afternoon to do something, especially in the summer.
My daughter takes a nap around 2 so that is a forced study time for me. We can't do anything anyways, so i don't feel like i'm missing out. I usualy head to library at this time for 2-3 hours.
That makes 3 hours of studying on Sat and Sundays without sacrificing much with my family.
Weekdays have been as follows:
Try to sneak in an hour of studying at work. The best topics to study in the office are things you don't need to do a ton of calculations on, so its not as obvious. For instance, i've been really studying Govt and NFP at work because those questions are fairly straightforward and dont require much writting.
I have a 45 min train ride home from work, so thats another 45 minutes of studying. Then i go from train station to library for another hour or so. Now i've managed to study for 3 hours during the work week before 6 pm. If i'm feeling up to it I may look at some stuff after dinner, but usually just spend time with my family.
Hey all. Married with an 18 year old and an 11 year old. Been in school since 2003, got my bachelors in 2008 and went straight for the Masters, now in school more than half time and thought what could be MORE fun than trying to squeeze in the CPA too? I work full time mostly 50-60 hours a week.
Of course it does not help that I am all crunchy/granola make my own kitty litter and laundry detergent (really, ask me how!), make my own nachos, homemade breads and yogurt, bake cookies almost daily (its my relaxation, not a chore, most of the time!) Oh did I mention I bought a 200 year old house 2 years ago that had been a foreclosure and was destroyed? Trying to live in it and remodel it (on the cheap, I got 2 rooms of hardwood flooring for free!)
I listen to Anita Feller (Wiley impact audio) at work and while I am walking the dogs, read on my lunch break and at night after cooking/cleaning, and spend the entire weekend reading for now. I am not passing the exams I do pass by much, but grateful that I've only got AUD left.
I'm married with a 4 yr old and another due mid-October. I graduated in 2005, put in two busy seasons in public and then switched to working for a manufacturing company. I tested on two sections in October 2006 and then walked away from the exam until last October (2010). Can't wait to be done with this beast!
I am married, but no kiddos yet. I start at a Big 4 in October and really hope to have this exam finished before then...my hubby is very supportive, almost too much to where he nags me if I am not in front of my computer cramming more "factoids" into my head...
Good timing on this thread---As of this past saturday I am officially married. Got engaged last year right before I sat for my first exam---my wife(still getting used to saying that) is incredibly supportive and understanding. I feel like, for me anyway, this entire CPA process has brought us closer together actually---knowing that she can stick by my side during all of the venting and frustration as well be willing to deal with the fact that I am relegated to my study cave for a large chunk of my "free time". Being able to finally spend more time with her is my #1 motivation of all to get this last exam over with!
Congrats Baked to you and your new bride!! Being a newlywed is great. Enjoy the ride!
Congrats Baked!! Enjoy being a newlywed and go get that CPA!!!
Married, 2 yr old son, 3 month old daughter. Work full time. Graduated in 2005 with a degree in Econ with no accounting classes under my belt. Satisfied the 24 units of accounting at community colleges (night classes and online classes) in 2010. I am hoping and praying to just knock this test out of the way by the end of the year. I just squeeze in some Becker lectures whenever I have some free time, usually at night. I am pretty much go, go, go all day and night. Then I hit my pillow and crash for a few hours sleep, and then I do it all over again the next day. I know it will be worth the small sacrifice though. Good luck to everyone throughout their journey!
I'm married with my first kid (a girl!!!) due in December. The only real conflict I have is that my wife has a fairly demanding job as well, so I am having to pick up more of the housework. It all evens out though, since I've been a night owl since college and she goes to bed around 9. I passed BEC back in January, and have taken REG and AUD this quarter. I am scheduling FAR in late October to free up some time for when the baby comes. I'm praying I can battle through these last three exams since I know my study schedule will be taking a back seat to the newborn. I need to get those three letters after my name to give her the best life I'm able to!
@GAAPtooth - Congrats and good luck!!
Married, and as of Sept 2nd, it will be 5 yrs. No kids yet. This exam is slightly in the way of that. My husband is very supportive. We own and run a plumbing company. We see each other very little in the spring/summer because he is so busy and very little during the fall/winter because that is my busy time with taxes. All in all it works out, but I hope to be able to say I am DONE with this crazy exam and get back to spending the little free time we have together, instead of being glued to CPA review materials.
@hilaryh_88 I feel for you. I am 27 and married almost 6 years (Dec. 28) and no kids and no time. I got married right before going back to college, graduated in December, finished my 150 this spring and have been tackling this CPA exam since Feb/Mar...graduating did not give me a break at all! Then I start at a Big 4 in October. I am doubting I will have a life ever again :(
On another note, my hubby is very supportive and I greatly appreciate that...
I'm married with two boys, 10 and 6.
For those of you with supportive spouses, count your blessings. My husband was pretty supportive the first year but now that I am on my second anniversary of studying for the CPA exam (not to mention the years of school beforehand to get enough credits), he just wants his old wife back.
We talk very little about the exam anymore. He wanted me to quit 6 months ago and I almost did. In some ways, I can't blame him because I let the exam take over my life. He hates to see me defeated when I fail and he wants us to have time together when I'm not worried about studying. I can never truly relax because I feel guilty that I should be studying.
Please, please AICPA gods give me an exam on August 23rd with the stuff I know! I want to be the old Allyson again.
I'm rooting for you, Allyson!!
Thanks, kb24!
Allyson,
Yep, I have my backpack of guilt strapped on. I feel naked without it. It gets so bad when it is close to an exam, I ask myself: "really, do I need to brush my teeth/shower--how much time would that take out of studying?!" My priorities are all out of whack. I hope you know that you are in good company (ok, I broke down and brushed my teeth today and showered--my neighbor came over this a.m. with accounting questions about her business, so I tried to be presentable!!)
Understand the tension brought on by the exam experience. I think my husband's patience wore out during the time I had to take the 5 accounting classes to get me the 150 hrs. So, needless to say when the exam rollercoaster hit, you could stick a fork in him. My husband is the same way,he can't stand to see me suffer. This is a problem, because I like to roll around like a pig in mud when I am down, it helps me get back up--this makes him even crazier. AAAAAHHH.
Thanks for sharing the "other side". I was ignoring this thread, since I felt like I didn't really fit in with the "everything is going great category", felt like I was the only one whose husband thought exam was a four letter word....wait...it is--but you know what I mean. :)
I know that you will be the Old Allyson again, as well as I. Have to. This backpack is too heavy to keep carrying around. August 23rd will be a great day---all the planets will be in line!
Good luck Allyson! It has to be frustrating that you, technically, passed all 4 CPA exams, but unfortunately one expired. Go get 'em this time. Over-prepare and over-study to make sure it's your last.
- I am 26, and married with a 3 month old. At the time I was just beginning this CPA journey, I found out my wife was pregnant. So, I set a goal to be done with all exams before he was born. This gave me some extra motivation and incentive to get the exams done quickly, because I didn't want to spend any time studying after my son was born. I succeeded….barely. My last exam was scheduled for May 9th (a Monday), which was a week before my son's due date. I figured I would take advantage of every last day before his birth to study. I pushed my luck a little too much because he was born on Sunday, May 8th (Mother's day...go figure). I had to reschedule my exam for the following Monday (and pay $130). I hardly studied that additional week, but still went into my last exam confident and ready for the end. A month later I found out I passed, and my journey was over. My goal was a success, and my little man get's all his Dad's attention. It's great. Use your little one's as motivation, and study like crazy, especially if this is your last exam.
WhyEvenTry - That's a great story!
IWannaBaCPA - Seems like we have a very similar situation. I just keep telling myself I will get my life back once this exam is over with!
Allyson - You described what I am always feeling like during this process to a T. If I'm not studying, I'm telling myself I should be and I am unable to truly enjoy anything because I just feel the pressure of the exam.
BIG congrats to all the newlyweds and new and expecting parents!
Allyson, I can relate to a not entirely supportive husband. He is a wonderful man, don't get me wrong (in fact I just married him on April Fool's day, we had been divorced for 8 years but reconciled LOL)
However he never went to college, barely finished high school. He has tried to understand since we reconciled how important school is to me, and even tries to understand the CPA thing but makes this general assumption that "you're so smart I know this is a piece of cake for you, why do you need to study so much?"
Gotta love that he thinks I walk on water though :)
Just need to let off a little steam, and this thread is the perfect place. For those who don't know my story, after being a stay-at-home mother for several years I went to grad school in 2004 and 2005 and got my MS Accy. At the beginning of my last semester my mother was diagnosed with dementia, and I delayed my job search for what I thought would be a few months while we got her moved into appropriate care and sold her house. Things didn't work out as planned, and we had constant crises for the next few years so I didn't feel that I could take on the responsibility of a demanding job. I decided the situation was stable enough for me to get a job at the beginning of the year but felt I needed to take the CPA exam to make myself a more attractive candidate. I took and passed the exams last test window and began looking for a job after that.
While it's not fun, I've been using the same full-time job mentality I used when studying for the CPA exam. I've tried to take a systematic approach by looking at the websites of the major recruiters, state and federal governments, large non-accounting firms, and accounting firms on a regular basis and applying for any jobs for which I'm remotely qualified. In addition, I'm making use of the career counseling at my former university and have my resume posted on their website. If I haven't found a job by the fall I'm planning to participate in the on-campus recruiting. I recently established a LinkedIn account and am reaching out to former professors on it as well as looking for a job. I've only been seriously looking for the last 3 or 4 weeks because I had to help my sister out after she had major surgery in late June.
Anyway, my husband was super supportive throughout the exam although there was a bit of the attitude that "you're smart--of course you'll pass!". During my job search, though, his support is disappearing quickly. I don't know what the deal is, but tonight he asked me what my backup plan was if I didn't find a job. He said that he thought applying on line was a waste of time because no one's getting jobs and there are tons of people out there more experienced than me. He said I needed to think outside the box and suggested I call up a firm and offer to work for free for a year so I could get my CPA. I didn't know what to say and still don't. I know that he's under a lot of pressure at work even though he doesn't talk much about his problems, but that's been going on for months. I can't figure out why he felt the need to be so discouraging tonight. It's not how he is normally.
Thanks for letting me vent. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow.
kb - have you guys considered going to a marriage counselor just for a "tune-up". He may be dealing with some work stress that he doesn't want to burden you with.
It's a good idea, Jeff, but he's not interested in that right now. He didn't flat out refuse when I suggested it, but he didn't think that it would be of much use. He's a very private person so the idea of talking to a stranger doesn't appeal to him.
kb24,
Wow, I am really sorry to hear that. In light of all the bumps ( seems like you have had your fair share), your wonderful news of passing all four parts seems to be losing some luster in the eyes of your husband. That doesn't mean you should feel the same way. You have accomplished alot in times that were extremely difficult for any person. Don't lose sight of that.
You mentioned that your husband is having a tough time at work--I am sure that his negative attitude is directly related to that, and that it wasn't his comments weren't intentional. It is tough when we need support from loved ones and it isn't there. That is why this forum is so great. Looking for a job, to me, is like going to the doctor. I don't really like it, but when it is done, I am glad I did it. I am sure your husband is forgetting how tough the job market can be. Remember--all it takes is one employer to offer you a job. But finding it can be a trick. I don't think working for free is the answer either. I think that internet searches can be effective. I think the more ways you can look, the more chances you have at finding something. You just don't know where things can lead...and that is the beauty of the job search. I have found some great recruiters in my area from the internet and LInkedIN. I also try to network and such. One idea: have you joined the Texas Accountants Society? I know that for my state, once you join, they have special meetings for newer members and they expose you to a huge network. IMO it is worth the $35 or $40 to join.
Don't let your hubby get you down. Heck, you passed the CPA--you can DO anything. The job will come, if you are putting the same kind of resolve as you have in these exams and school---I have no doubts that you will find a great job.
Tomorrow will be a better day!!!
Thanks yankee. I hadn't thought of checking out the state accounting society, but that's a good idea. You're right about everything else as well. I'm sympathetic to his problems, but I was hurt by both his comments and the fact that he didn't seem to understand why I was upset. It doesn't help that I don't have any chocolate around to ease the pain, either.
Tomorrow will be a better day. Good luck at the library with REG tomorrow.
@yankee
Just checked and they do have a category of membership for students and CPA candidates for $35. Have to call to get an account, but I'll do that in the morning and then explore the career assistance options on the site. Thanks for the idea.
kb,
If I could send you some chocolate over the internet I would!! Where is Willy Wonka with that Wonkavision when you need him??!!!
I think you may need to use this Will Ferrel (Anchorman) quote with your husband " I don't know how to tell you, but I am kinda a big deal!" I am not sure if your hubby knows that we all hail KB24 on this forum for passing 4 exams in one window!!! I am not sure if you know the reference or not. I love Will Ferrel. Anchorman is a crazy, funny movie. I love that kind of humor. :)
You know I reference movies alot on this forum. I guess for my lack of being able to sit on the couch and veg. People must think I am crazy! Hopefully you got a laugh.
Take care!
no problem...glad I could finally help you. You have helped me soooo many times.
Thanks yankee and jeff for your kind words. I don't mean to make my husband sound like a bad guy. He's is going through a lot right now at work--most of which he has no control over even though he's self-employed--and had some discouraging news yesterday. I think his suggestion was the result of his discouragement over life in general right now plus a complete lack of understanding of corporate culture. Aside from his first two years out of school, he's never worked for anyone else. While his idea sounded defeatist and desperate to me, I think he was looking at it from the perspective of getting my foot in the door and then demonstrating my worth to a firm. In his mind, the worst case would be that I'd gain experience and get my CPA license.
Thanks for the Will Farrell quote yankee. I said basically the same thing to him (only not so succinctly) last night. I have self-esteem issues about some areas of my life, but this isn't one of them.
Last night I did my Scarlett O'Hara imitation "Tomorrow is another day". (See, I do movie references too.) I decided I was going to treat myself to a pedicure, chocolate, and a chat with my sister. I might throw a massage in there, too. Then, it's back to the job search. It's not fun, but I know I'll find something. It's just going to take some time and hard work.
Thanks again for all the support.
KB, I'm sorry. I bet he doesn't even realize that he comes across a bit discouraging. Probably just assumed that since you passed all 4 sections with total lightening speed that the job search would be as exceptional. I believe (and somebody can correct me if I am wrong) that the CPA firms may be in a lull with hiring at this time of year and will gear up with hiring in the fall.
@mla - I think you're right about the lull in hiring. I'm hoping they're coming out of it, though, because I've noticed some more job postings on the accounting firm websites this week as compared to last week.
kb24,
I hope you enjoy the day of primping--everybody needs that every now and again!
On a different note--my husband works in the building products industry---so needless to say, the last five years have been not so great for business. He has been so lucky to stay employed, when things were really down, he was getting countless phone calls from business associates begging for a job, it was heartbreaking. So, I can totally relate to seeing the big guys struggle, and understanding where their head is at. Not easy from either vantage point. I hope things get better for him soon. And for you with the search. Have faith.
Have a great day!
kb24,
I wish you could use me as a reference. I'd tell them how you are the "superstar" of the forum because you passed all 4 parts so quickly. Amazing. I'd also add that you are probably THE most helpful person on this forum (besides Jeff, of course). Someone will be lucky to get you.
As for the husbands, it seems like we are all in a pickle. My husband hasn't had a job in 2 years but has gone back to school. He's on a 2 week break between semesters right now and is at the beach. I triple dog dare him to complain about anything at this point as I am working and studying my a$$ off for the final showdown. Oh wait, he just invited his mom down. FANTASTIC.
Thanks for letting me vent too. Yankee, we have got to focus. You are 48 hours away :))))
@KB what part of Houston are you in and what part of Houston do you want to work in? I'll keep my eyes and ears out for you, I work in the 249/Willowbrook area. Definitely check into the chamber of commerce in your area of town, and there is a Texas Women's CPA Society as well. Keep your head up!!
Thanks keeptrying.
I'm just west of downtown. While something nearby would be the most convenient, I'd be going against traffic so I don't mind working further away. My husband works at the front of Kingwood, and it takes him less time to get to work from here than it did when we lived in the back of Kingwood even though it's more than twice the distance. My application with the state accounting society is pending, and I'll look into the TX women's CPA society and Chamber of Commerce as well.
Thanks for your support. I feel bad about being so down in my post last night, but I just needed to get it off my chest and nobody I could confide in was available at the time. In a way it was a good thing, though, because I've gotten some great ideas on additional things I can do.
Allyson, thanks for your support as well. I hope that your husband took the kids with him so you have some guilt-free time to study. It's the least he can do.
Disagree, Allyson - she's more helpful than me :)
That's nice, Jeff, but not true. You've helped thousands of us.
Allyson - I laughed out loud when I read about your mother-in-law being invited. I just returned from a "vacation" with my husband and most of his family. I love my mother-in-law, but I would rather not vacation with her and a group for that matter. I need a vacation from that vacation.
Allyson I'm in the same boat as you. My husband was really supportive at first but I've been trying too long for this.
I started in 2006 and passed AUD (and failed BEC and FAR), but then we had troubles with infertility and I became a raging B with all the hormones and the stress of everything was too much for me. After a couple years off from the exam and struggling to get pregnant we finally ended up adopting (wish I would have gone that route to begin with because that was WAY easier than getting pregnant). Once we had a baby at home I thought I could start studying for the exam again but it's been a slow journey. The week before I found out I passed FAR my husband asked me to quit. I told him if I failed that one that I would throw in the towel but then a week later I found out I passed. I know he was happy for me but sad because he knew I wouldn't give up on the rest of the exams. Now I'm two down for sure, and I'm not feeling so confident about REG that I took last week. I have a 2 1/2 year old at home now and she keeps me so busy it's really hard to find time to study. I do my best to get an hour a day on my lunch break and an hour after my daughter goes to bed, but sometimes I'm just exhausted.
I'm crossing my fingers that I passed REG. I'm attempting BEC at the beginning of October and giving myself enough time to retake REG if need be before FAR expires on Thanksgiving. Ugh.
@smrichard
I don't see how you study with toddlers. I was a zombie the first 3 years of my children's lives. At least you have passed FAR and AUD. That is such a great accomplishment. You can't throw in the towel yet.
We've sacrificed too much to give up!!
@hilaryh_88
This is my second in-law encounter this month. Last time it was his sister & her wild crew. I spend my "vacations" cooking and cleaning. That's how I roll.
@Allyson -
I spend my vacations trying to bite my tongue. She is very supportive of my test-taking, so I am thankful for that, however she is also very sure to throw in how she'd like to see some grandchildren. She has 6 already from her other kids, what's the rush?!
@hilary
My grandmother started asking me if I was pregnant a month after the wedding and continued until I her I wouldn't go see her unless she quit. She already had 11 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren at the time.
I love these mother-in-law stories. I really hate to know what mine has been saying to everyone about me these days. My husband has been out of work since early July and with me taking 3 exams in two months I figured I'm going to take advantage while I can. So he's become Mr. Mom with our two girls. Everytime she comes over I'm studying or sitting around and spending what little time I do with the girls before I lock myself in my room with my books. The house is an absolute mess, but I don't care right now. My priorites are on the exam not the house. See she's the type that everything has to be in the perfect spot and everything has to be spotless. I used to stress out whenever she came over that the house wasn't cleaned, now I can care less. When September comes around, I'll get back into gear (with the house that is).
My husband has been really good with all this, but he does have his moments, but who doesn't when you have 2 little ones? The other night I could tell he was at his edge, so after I put our 15 month old to bed and told our 7 year old, if she wants she can come in Mommy's room while I study and read a book quietly so my husband can have some quiet time to himself too. She was all over that. Now she keeps asking me if she can do that and I tell her only if she's quiet.
My mother-in-law died of cancer 8 years ago, but she was great. However, everything was black and white for her. If she liked you, she really liked you, and if she didn't, she really didn't. She didn't much care for her other daughter-in-law and would introduce me to people as the daughter-in-law she liked.
WOW! Reading all these posts is so helpful for me! I mean, this year has been a rollercoaster...
Literally started this whole exam process off on the wrong foot with a personal family emergency at the time I began studying in February...managed to work things out, but still rocky...then about a month later my husband was laid-off after 7 years of service as a Construction Manager! Then his aunt passes away suddenly at only 47 last month. While we were in our hometown for the saddest funeral I've ever been a part of, my husband finds out he got a job offer...what a rollercoaster that week was. His job offer was for much less than he was making prior to being laid-off, but it's a job so he took it. He actually really likes it...hopefully a raise is in his future since he is making less than what he was making right out of college...
It was very hard to work 35-40 hours a week and then study all evening and weekends while my husband was playing World of Warcraft all day! I was so totally annoyed...although he did cook and clean, he did nothing else productive at all! Then he would nag me about not studying enough...mostly because he wanted to get back to his stupid game!
He has been a huge support, but I just envied him playing video games while I was listening to lectures all night...
And as for not having little ones yet, my hubby is 31 and I am 27 and I really thought we would have at least one by now, but time flies and we both had personal goals of college degrees and careers before kids which is taking longer than expected. We both have older and younger siblings, but none of them have kids either! Our parents are in their late 50s, early 60s and no grandkids at all! They are not pressuring us in any way, but I hate that we/they are getting older...
Anyways, thanks for the support and sharing your stories...it makes me not feel so bad knowing we are all sorta struggling, but still getting by...
@IwannaBaCPA,
Does your husband read your blog? Mine reads my blogs so I can't ever write about him being anything but SUPERMAN.
Once I mentioned I was happy about dreaming of CPA mcq and that it was better than Johnny Depp. Good grief - I can't watch Pirates of the Caribbean anymore without The Big Baby getting all jealous. I'll stop now. He does have the wild child with him at the beach so I can get a lot done. He is a good man and daddy but they all have their moments.
I didn't get married until I was 30 and I had my first child at 33. You have plenty of time :)
I honestly doubt he reads my blog...he doesn't seem overly interested. I mean supportive and proud, yes, but when it comes to the details, no. Mine is totally not the jealous type...I told him if I ever had the chance with Gerard Butler, I wouldn't hesitate and he didn't care a bit :) LOL!
Thanks for the reassurance! I feel like time is flying by and what I had planned at 18 for myself by 30 is not even close to what has happened, but I am guessing that happens to most people...
Doesn't it seem a little backward that women need to worry about having kids first due to age, etc. and then settle into a career later in life? It seems like we should be able to do the career first and kids when we're older. Darn that clock!
....And the dam is broken!!! Ya think this thread is a bit overdue?! I love that, seems like the women, who are needing a place to vent, rant, or just share are doing so. Kudos out to Allyson and KB24 for decoding my very own- morse- code -like cry for an ear. :)
One thing I will say: If being an accountant is belonging to a group of ladies such as yourselves--then I am honored, and I am in !!!! Truly amazed and humbled by what people have endured and continue to work through just to fulfill a dream. I loved reading everyone's story. Thanks for sharing, I know from my own experience, that it isn't always easy to do so.
The message was clear: perserverance! Thanks for reminding me of that today. I could use that on Saturday.
I got married at 21 and had my daughter at 29. She's now 24, not married or even dating, and a 3rd year med student, and my husband's fretting for grandchildren. He doesn't say anything to her, but he's mentioned it plenty of times to me. I think he's nuts--she's got plenty of time and way too much going on right now to even think about getting married or children. He says he wants to be young enough to enjoy grandchildren. We both look younger than our age and he's really active, but sometimes he talks like he's an old man. Sheesh!
@yankee - you're right. This thread is great, but I don't think Jeff had a clue what it would be like when he started it.
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