[HazeEastwood]

I am feeling a little bad about my attitude towards my girlfriend SPHR test. This test is an H.R. certification test. The reason I am getting annoyed by it is that she often compares her studying for the SPHR to me studying for the CPA which really annoys me. She took the test today and she passed (they tell them immediately a pass or fail score) and she calls me to tell me. I am happy to hear that she passed but then she says “now I can kick back and relax without having the grind of studying guilt free”. This was the exact same thing I said last week when I finished my last exam. The difference is I’ve been studying for almost a year and she studied for a good month. Every comment I make about the CPA she makes about her exam and to me the exams are just not comparable. I don’t know about the difficulty of the SPHR but I do know that her 6 books have less pages all together than REG. It’s like she wants the same credit for passing her exam as I would get for passing the CPA when each requires totally different levels of commitment, cost and time! I don’t know maybe I am wrong to feel this way.

FAR-81
BEC-84
AUD-91
REG-89

[hkboi228]

@ HazeEastwood:

It's okay to feel that way Haze. You just cannot compare any exam to the CPA. Especially when preparation for those exams does not require up to a year to do. Did you feel better about REG the second time around?

FAR (5/27/10) - 87
REG (8/27/10) - 66, (2/25/11) - 74, (4/21/11) - 85
BEC (10/28/10)- 83
AUD (11/27/10)- 83, CA Candidate NTS#452, Ethics: 90

[HazeEastwood]

I felt better about MCQ, I know for a fact they got harder. Couldn't tell the first time around. I felt the same about the SIMS, still not very clear about what they want

FAR-81
BEC-84
AUD-91
REG-89

[Accounting Pilot]

I always feel conflicted when I hear these stories. Is she saying these things to intentionally be mean? Much as in the other stories I read, I am going to wager that the answer is “no”. I think too often we CPAs and CPA hopefuls take too much offense at hearing about other people's tests because ours is more difficult. We forget that while their test may be easier (in our minds), it is still an achievement for their profession.

Also, maybe this is her way of trying to make a connection with you. My wife, though she does not completely understand what I am going through, still tries to support my efforts. And though sometimes her comments or questions may seem ignorant to me or any other candidate, I cannot imagine taking offense with her.

On the other hand, if she is doing it to be mean or condescending, you have every right to have a bad attitude. Just make sure it is justifiable.

One last question, have you tried communicating your feelings to her? Maybe she honestly does not realize how her comments make you feel. Getting a hang of this “communication” thing will help down the road if your relationship continues to grow deeper.

Wisconsin Candidate. NTS 450
BEC - 82 AUD - 85
FAR - 83 REG - 71, 86

[HazeEastwood]

I definitely don't think she does it to be mean in any way. I do believe she tries in some cases to use it as a way to connect. I haven't tried to tell her because I don't want sound like a CPA snob. But I know she understand one is totally different from the other. I don't know…..maybe I'll just let it go

FAR-81
BEC-84
AUD-91
REG-89

[Anonymous]

Haze, don't feel bad. No one can possibly understand what a CPA candidate goes through except fellow candidates.

She probably wants to feel validated in her own exam experience which was, to her, quite an accomplishment. We all live in our own realities.

As a woman, I can tell you, she isn't trying to compete, she just wants you to say, “Yeah, Baby! That was awesome. You are so smart”.

Look, my husband lost his job when I began this process and has since gone back to school. Although he now appreciates and better understands my requests for study time, he also tries to get into a pissing contest with me about whose studies are more important/harder/frustrating. I have just learned to say , “Yeah, Baby! You are awesome!” so I don't punch him in the face.

[herbert7890]

Nice Allyson!! You always have something great to say!!! Work it out, Haze, she probably wants you to be proud of her. My wife really works hard to make me feel great, she tells me EVERY DAY how smart I am (which is not true), but then I reply ” You are way smarter than me, you are a medical doctor”. In that way, we both feel accomplished and everything feels good : D

FAR 88 - BEC 86 - AUD 90 - REG 85

[Mmilito]

It happens with everything tho…I work at a bank right now and my boss keeps comparing her college degree (its an associate degree from a community college) to my bachelor degree's….drives me nuts

FAR 92
AUD 91
BEC 11/06/2011
REG 02/01/2012

[Herbieherb]

LOL a coworker of mine compared the CPA exam to the teaching exam. I was like cool there must be a shortage of teachers since its so hard lol..

NEW YORK- DONE

[herbert7890]

lol herbieherb. More than 10 teachers have told me they don't know why I studied for the CPA exam, as they didnt read a single page for their exam and passed first try. I just smile and stay quiet. They don't realize it says a lot about their profession, when the test is so easy, ANYONE without studying passes.

FAR 88 - BEC 86 - AUD 90 - REG 85

[T-rex]

@Haze,

Competition can be very destructive to a relationship, so it's best not to focus on things like whose exam is tougher, who is smarter, who put in more effort, etc. You've got to stay focused on supporting each other. I'll bet if you tell her how proud you are of her, tell friends and family how proud you are of her, take her out to celebrate her accomplishment, and completely separate her experience from your CPA exam experience, your efforts will be returned many times over. Give it a try.

We all want to feel supported. Don't wait for her to go first–you go first. You can set a good example for her.

Also, if you feel that you're not getting the support you need, I think it's fine to bring that up, just don't make it about her exam versus your exam as that would likely create resentment.

AUD - 95, BEC - 85
REG - 85, Rawrrrrrr FAR - 88
Used Becker for all sections.
CA candidate not residing in CA

[2010Please]

Perfect advice T-Rex!

AUD 92, REG 85, BEC 90, FAR 85
Ethics 100
Obtained License 7/11/11 🙂

[misanthrope87]

Most likely shes not trying to make you feel bad. It's just that these CPA exams are very hard and no one else really understands that. I would just try to let it go if I were you, unless of course, she's trying to make you feel bad.

B 2/12 87
A 11/11 90
R 8/11 86
F 5/12 88

[HazeEastwood]

Thanks for the advice T-Rex. I've decided to let it go……I know she doesn't do it to make me feel bad or anything. I think she just tries to use it to connect. Still gets on my nerves lol, but I know she means well.

FAR-81
BEC-84
AUD-91
REG-89

[kandisjoy]

I have something similar going on with my fiance. I've said a few times that I am really looking forward to this whole thing being over with. That I can't wait to go out and DO things after May 27th (when I take my *hopefully* last exam). And then he says something to me like… “Well I'll still be studying and stressed out” (he's in college for IT). It takes all I have not to tell him to shut it, that I already went through college and worked full time while doing it (he works 25 hours per week), and that the CPA exam is not even comparable to his school work. Instead of all that, I just smile and say “Well that's ok babe, I'll help you and support you as much as I can.” Because just because the CPA exam has been a monster in my life, it doesn't mean that his struggles are any less significant. He has supported me this entire time and he deserves my support in return.

FAR: 71, 77
BEC: 70, 82
AUD: 62, 78
REG: 71, 68, 85

CA Licensed 11/2011

[zooyuka]

Does it really matter? Sounds like you both are making strides to where you want to be. If you can't be excited for each others success, whats the point of even being together?

BEC 71,77
REG 65,85
FAR 7/1/13
AUD 8/24/13

[Author]

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