Need Opinions on Coworker Drama

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    Topic
  • #183794
    MustPass1988
    Member

    So I’ve worked at this company for a couple of years and pretty much the whole time, my coworker has treated me as though he’s threatened by me. I’ve caught him talking about me to my manager over things that he blew out of proportion (like for example he tried to schedule a meeting during lunchtime and I said that I was unavailable because I always go to a yoga class during that time and he forwarded the email to my manager saying that this was “typical behavior from me” and that I was always unavailable which is completely untrue ). He micromanages me to the point where he makes me send him drafts of my emails before I send them out to people. Keep in mind, he is NOT my manager in any way, just my coworker. There have actually been several remediations between he and I and my manager but my manager has actually said “I would go to the end of the earth for [coworker]” so he doesn’t do anything about it. My manager constantly tells me that he sees how my coworker treats me and that he’s actually extremely frustrated with him about it, but then doesn’t do anything. The thing that really frustrates me is that my manager tells my coworker everything. I was having health issues and they thought I had a hernia and I needed to go get an ultrasound and I told my manager this, and got an email from my coworker later that day saying “I hope you feel better, I heard that you were having some stomach problems”. So present day: I was offered a job opportunity internally within a different department. I found out on Monday from my manager and then discovered that he told 3 of my coworkers on Friday before even telling me. I was having coworkers asking me about it before I even had a job description or decided to apply! A week later, I decided to apply for it and told my manager beforehand who assured me that he would not tell any coworkers until it was “official”. Two hours later, I got an email from this coworker saying “I’ve heard some news about you, can we have a meeting to discuss this?” I ignored him and then went to my manager and said “you told me that you weren’t going to tell [coworker] until it was official…” and he turned bright red, mumbled something, and then grabbed his phone and went into a conference room to call the coworker. Now, hardly anyone in my department is talking to me, (my manager hasn’t said one word to me today) and I scheduled a meeting with the VP of my group to let him know why I decided to apply for this position. I want to let him know that I’m unhappy about the fact that everyone in the department knew about this opportunity before I did and the way that my manager and coworker talk about me. Any suggestions for ways to bring it up?

    AUD: PASSED [81]; Expired, retaking August 23rd
    BEC: PASSED [83]; Expired, retaking July 11th
    REG: PASSED [83]
    FAR: FAILED [64]; Retaking May 23rd

Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 70 total)
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  • #517072
    MustPass1988
    Member

    Also, when I said I was unavailable during that time because of a yoga class, I did reschedule the meeting to 45 minutes later. I didn't just blow him off 🙂

    AUD: PASSED [81]; Expired, retaking August 23rd
    BEC: PASSED [83]; Expired, retaking July 11th
    REG: PASSED [83]
    FAR: FAILED [64]; Retaking May 23rd

    #517103
    MustPass1988
    Member

    Also, when I said I was unavailable during that time because of a yoga class, I did reschedule the meeting to 45 minutes later. I didn't just blow him off 🙂

    AUD: PASSED [81]; Expired, retaking August 23rd
    BEC: PASSED [83]; Expired, retaking July 11th
    REG: PASSED [83]
    FAR: FAILED [64]; Retaking May 23rd

    #517074
    MustPass1988
    Member

    Also, I should add that my manager constantly compliments me on my work and I had a great annual review. So, I'm not just lazy and mad that my coworker is calling me out on it. I work really hard and do a good job. That's why it's so frustrating to be treated this way.

    AUD: PASSED [81]; Expired, retaking August 23rd
    BEC: PASSED [83]; Expired, retaking July 11th
    REG: PASSED [83]
    FAR: FAILED [64]; Retaking May 23rd

    #517105
    MustPass1988
    Member

    Also, I should add that my manager constantly compliments me on my work and I had a great annual review. So, I'm not just lazy and mad that my coworker is calling me out on it. I work really hard and do a good job. That's why it's so frustrating to be treated this way.

    AUD: PASSED [81]; Expired, retaking August 23rd
    BEC: PASSED [83]; Expired, retaking July 11th
    REG: PASSED [83]
    FAR: FAILED [64]; Retaking May 23rd

    #517076
    oilgaslb
    Member

    I would personally take the new job opportunity and run if it meant not having to deal with the coworker any longer. I left my previous job because of miserable people who mistreated me, as well as everyone else. The healthier relationships are at work, the happier and more productive you will be. I would simply tell the VP that you disagree with the way the coworker treats you and it hasn't changed after your peaceful attempts to remedy the situation. Not everyone will get along with everyone, but that doesn't mean you should be miserable.

    Edit: I didn't realize that you were the one to schedule the meeting. Since it isn't the VP that is bringing up the issue, I would leave it alone, take the new job, and hope you don't encounter similar coworkers in your new position.

    #517107
    oilgaslb
    Member

    I would personally take the new job opportunity and run if it meant not having to deal with the coworker any longer. I left my previous job because of miserable people who mistreated me, as well as everyone else. The healthier relationships are at work, the happier and more productive you will be. I would simply tell the VP that you disagree with the way the coworker treats you and it hasn't changed after your peaceful attempts to remedy the situation. Not everyone will get along with everyone, but that doesn't mean you should be miserable.

    Edit: I didn't realize that you were the one to schedule the meeting. Since it isn't the VP that is bringing up the issue, I would leave it alone, take the new job, and hope you don't encounter similar coworkers in your new position.

    #517078

    Don't say anything…you are leaving the group and that's what matters…what if there is an opportunity to get a higher position later on in that same group and the VP remembers what you said to him…you never know what will happen in the future. As long as what he did wasn't illegal, I suggest you ignore it and move on to your new dept.

    Florida:
    AUD: 73, 81! Thank you Lord!
    BEC: 73, 77! Thank you Lord! and WTB
    REG: 71, 82! Thank you Lord! and A71
    FAR: 72, 78! Thank you God and my Mommy in Heaven!

    CPA Excel, Ninja Notes & Audio, Wiley Test Bank, CPAreviewforfree

    #517109

    Don't say anything…you are leaving the group and that's what matters…what if there is an opportunity to get a higher position later on in that same group and the VP remembers what you said to him…you never know what will happen in the future. As long as what he did wasn't illegal, I suggest you ignore it and move on to your new dept.

    Florida:
    AUD: 73, 81! Thank you Lord!
    BEC: 73, 77! Thank you Lord! and WTB
    REG: 71, 82! Thank you Lord! and A71
    FAR: 72, 78! Thank you God and my Mommy in Heaven!

    CPA Excel, Ninja Notes & Audio, Wiley Test Bank, CPAreviewforfree

    #517080
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Let me at him…

    #517111
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Let me at him…

    #517082
    san4596
    Member

    I'm still wondering why you are sending your work to be proofed by a coworker instead of the manager. There seems to be a managment problem where you are, and I would get out asap.

    CPA EXAM: DONE!!!!
    Ethics Course: Passed
    Application Mailed: 3/16/15
    Professional Conduct Exam: 97
    Certification Date: 4/2/15!!!

    #517113
    san4596
    Member

    I'm still wondering why you are sending your work to be proofed by a coworker instead of the manager. There seems to be a managment problem where you are, and I would get out asap.

    CPA EXAM: DONE!!!!
    Ethics Course: Passed
    Application Mailed: 3/16/15
    Professional Conduct Exam: 97
    Certification Date: 4/2/15!!!

    #517084
    taxman89
    Participant

    yeah i wouldnt say anything to the VP. no reason to trash your old dept on the way out (plus chances are the VP already knows). You endured their ahole behavior this long, no reason to burn bridges on the way out

    AUD - 75
    BEC - 77
    FAR - 78
    REG - 82
    AUD: 61-67-75 (Thanks ninja aud)
    BEC: 77
    FAR: 78
    REG:69-73-70-82

    Aud-75 3x I knew i never liked you
    Bec-77 1x being in the bubble is stressful
    Reg-82 4x its not me its you...and no we cant be friends
    Far-78 1x easiest section

    #517115
    taxman89
    Participant

    yeah i wouldnt say anything to the VP. no reason to trash your old dept on the way out (plus chances are the VP already knows). You endured their ahole behavior this long, no reason to burn bridges on the way out

    AUD - 75
    BEC - 77
    FAR - 78
    REG - 82
    AUD: 61-67-75 (Thanks ninja aud)
    BEC: 77
    FAR: 78
    REG:69-73-70-82

    Aud-75 3x I knew i never liked you
    Bec-77 1x being in the bubble is stressful
    Reg-82 4x its not me its you...and no we cant be friends
    Far-78 1x easiest section

    #517086
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I would just smile and continue with my work and application for the new position. Don't let the new department or the VP get wind of any “issues” while you are considering a new position. Just handle it professionally and take the high road. Then, when you get the new job you can thank your lucky stars that you have a fresh start in a new department. Jerks and miserable people are every where. I'm not by any means stating that you shouldn't stand up for yourself…I'm just saying keep your eye on the prize which is the new position. Good luck! I left my last job because my boss wanted to approve every email I sent. I was way too good for him. =)

    If that doesn't work…let DRAMA NINJA have them.

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