Ummmmm, be glad that your coworkers are not a coworker I used to have who we shall call Sam Suckitt. This individual's name was even worse than that, but very similar in that it was also an insulting alliterative sentence about himself. Bringing McDonald's into work when we were all in cubes and the smell from that bag of disgusting non-food would permeate every corner of the office is the least offensive thing he ever did (and I reserve the right to throw up on anyone who thinks they can eat McDonald's next to me). To start, he would clip his nails at his desk. Nails would go flying every which way and he never picked them up. They would even fly over the cubicle walls onto other people's desks. When we finally moved out of that god forsaken office and dismantled the cubes, a scattering of years of fingernails stood where the cubicle walls were.
The entire office went out to lunch that day and I described the unbelievable horror that this disgusting barbarian left behind himself, looking right at him. He seemed to not understand the problem. We moved into a brand new office and, by the time he was finally fired (he also did not do any work whatsoever BTW), not only was his whole office covered in fingernails, but gunk from in between his teeth as he had begun FLOSSING at his desk as well. I put up a sign in the common room about common decency and hygiene and things that make everyone else want to vomit. The boss loved it, but old Sam Suckitt ignored it. At that point, he'd also started sticking his filthy hands into the common ice tray rather than using the dispenser. We had to throw away his new recycle bin as he decided it was an appropriate place to spit, and the entire bottom was coated in congealed caveman phelgm. ZERO HYGEINE, ZERO MANNERS.
At the new office, I got a much bigger and nicer office than he did, and he pitched a fit to try to get my office, though he got to pick which office he wanted originally and I did not. The boss told him repeatedly he had to stick with what he chose. Sam responded by locking himself in MY office the day we moved in to make a phone call, despite the fact that I had already moved my stuff inside and the boss told him a dozen times to get over it, it wasn't happening.
Sam also used to think it was appropriate to lightly massage the admin assistant from time to time and to give me the full elevator eyes when I would wear a dress to work. Everyone at the office HATED him.
Is it bad that I want to use his real name so that others can be forewarned before they end up hiring him?
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