Very Discouraged….and Barely Started Studying

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  • #186534

    I am 46 years old, recently divorced, and in a dead end job doing A/R clerk duties in a company where I do not fit in. I am starting out exhausted after a long and unhealthy marriage and my self esteem is lacking in so many areas. I obtained my accounting degree in 1993 and never passed the CPA exam because children and family were a priority for me. I was a stay at home mom for the past 15 years and only recently stepped back into the accounting field after getting divorced.

    I am so discouraged because my work environment is pretty toxic. I work with some nasty women who just want to bring me down. Soon after a new office bully was hired, my life became miserable at work. She was nasty and confrontational and I tried my best to deal with her in a professional and neutral manner. However, she was relentless and it took a toll on me. She went to the boss with complaints that I mistreated her, but really she was the one mistreating me. The whole thing took a terrible turn and my boss never did understand the extent of what really happened because she behaved very differently when he was around.

    Fast forward to today, I am so tired. I am so discouraged. I started out feeling confident, thinking I could do this test. Now I just want to cry. I don’t fit in at work, but I know that the only way for me to find a truly challenging job and be taken seriously is to pass the CPA exam. I am not taken seriously at work right now. I have lost my motivation at this job after putting my heart and soul into my work. I feel devalued.

    What can I do? How can I turn this around? How can I regain my motivation to pass this daunting test? I could use some encouragement.

    Has anyone taken the test this late in their life? Has anyone worked in a terrible work environment where they felt devalued and unchallenged? I am getting to where I just can’t stand my job. Also, it hurts that my boss has chosen to take the path of least resistance and not back me up, after having worked as a temp for 5 years before this bully came on. After she was there for 6 months, it was the first time anyone ever had a single complaint against me. I had always gotten along with everyone at the company. It is so unfair and unjust.

    There are no jobs in my area, so I just want to pass this test and then approach some CPA firms, but not until I pass the test.

    Please – any advice and encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I am so down right now. I am so discouraged.

    I want to pass the CPA test and have been battling negative self talk and self doubt. I am just so discouraged right now. I have the 2014 Wiley book and the ninja notes for FAR. But I can’t bring myself to study because I feel so discouraged.

    Thanks for listening. I’d love to hear some success stories for anyone who worked in a toxic work environment and managed to get out and into something better by way of passing this test.

    Thanks for listening!!!!

Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)
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  • #610148
    JMOR
    Member

    I would start looking for jobs at CPA firms now if I were you. It can't hurt and maybe you can get a foot in the door doing bookkeeping or payroll or something. Just go to all of the mom and pop type firms and drop off a resume. As for starting late, plenty of people have done it and succeeded. I'm 34 and taking my first exam next week. Crack open that book and get started, you can do it!

    REG - 86
    FAR - 74,
    BEC - 72,
    AUD -73,

    #610149
    JMOR
    Member

    Oh, and one more thing. Don't post the title of your post in all caps, it makes Jeff go crazy 😉

    REG - 86
    FAR - 74,
    BEC - 72,
    AUD -73,

    #610150
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Sorry to hear about your work environment. 🙁 I have been in some kinda like that, and I'm in an area with very few jobs (like, last time I saw one that would seriously interest me was last September), so I understand how it can make you feel stuck!

    However, especially if you're in an area more like my area, I would definitely recommend reaching out to the local public firms now. Worst they can do is ignore your resume, and if they do that, then they won't remember who you are when you send out your resume again as a CPA in a few more months. Best case scenario, they see you're a mature candidate who is working on the CPA exams and snatch you up, so that you can have a more friendly and supportive work environment while you work on these exams!

    For while you're stuck at your current job, though, try to take your frustration and anger at your job and turn it into fuel to study like there's no tomorrow for these exams. If you see them as your ticket out of there, then start turning that ticket into a reality! I used Wiley and I loved it, it's a lot of boring material but it has everything you need to pass this test. Just dig in and learn it! I'm a younger student, but there are a lot of others on this forum who are around your age who have passed the exams and/or are working on them. It can be done! Not going to say it is easy, cause if it was easy, then everyone would be a CPA…but it can definitely be done!

    #610151
    Quinacridone
    Member

    I was very late into my 30s when I divorced my abusive ex and had no job skills at all, and two teenagers. I went to work in a retail environment where I seemed to excel to the point that management promoted me to a supervisor within a couple of months. This earned the wrath of another in my store and life became miserable. I left there and then went to work for a locally owned bank. Who would have thought that nepotism is not a healthy ingredient for the work environment? The “VP of Operations” was the bank president's niece (who had no education at all) and seemed to like to come down to the teller line and fire someone randomly each month. We were all so miserable and backbiting there. I would literally cry on my way to work it was so painful.

    Thats when I decided that I needed to be in charge of my environment. I started my BA in 2009. Fast forward to 2014, I have a BA in accounting, a Masters of Accounting degree, and I just passed all sections of the CPA (I'm still waiting on processing from my state to have the actual license in hand, but work experience is done and they have accepted all of my paperwork).

    What did it:

    There's a verse I repeated to myself the whole way through: “WIth your eyes see the path ahead, and with your eyelids the path underfoot.” This is a very loose translation of a verse in Proverbs (but when you look at the original Hebrew, it translates this way). What this meant for me: do not look at all my obstacles that I need to get through today to reach my ultimate goal. Set my eyes on that goal, my face like flint, and press forward.

    I did it, and so can you – but its going to take a “I'm doing this” attitude to carry you through what you need to get through. All obstacles (including tough work environments) can be circumvented.

    REG - Nov 4, 2013: 88
    FAR - Feb 27, 2014: 86
    AUD - April 5, 2014: 91
    BEC - May 6, 2014: 83

    Florida CPA 24 July 2014
    (Done in seven months - thank you Jesus!!)

    #610152
    jrosen92770
    Participant

    I am 43 and just passed. You can do it as well. Not being a fit sucks, so you might consider looking. Like Quinacridone indicated obstacles can be overcome.

    BEC - 5/26/2013 75
    REG - 8/31/2013 82
    AUD - 11/24/2013 74, 2/9/2014 92
    FAR - 5/25/2014 85

    NY CPA

    #610153
    taxman89
    Participant

    I would look at it as two different things (job issues and cpa). go find a new job with nonshity people (or at least less of them). you are more than qualified to move jobs now because you have experience. meanwhile realize that your work product needs to meet your standards regardless of crap coworkers and wussy bosses, if you keep up your quality and motivation for your work it will payoff eventually (even if you can see it paying off now). I would look for both cpa firm jobs and other industry jobs.

    Lastly, you totally can do this, you were a SAHM for 15 years this is a cakewalk!!! just need to get away from the losers that are so pathetic they can only tear other people down.

    AUD - 75
    BEC - 77
    FAR - 78
    REG - 82
    AUD: 61-67-75 (Thanks ninja aud)
    BEC: 77
    FAR: 78
    REG:69-73-70-82

    Aud-75 3x I knew i never liked you
    Bec-77 1x being in the bubble is stressful
    Reg-82 4x its not me its you...and no we cant be friends
    Far-78 1x easiest section

    #610154

    Wow, thank you for your responses! Quinacridone, congratulations! What an amazing feat you accomplished. I am inspired. I have thought that I would like to get a master's degree. My closest university is over an hour away and they recommend that candidates not work during the degree program. I simply can't do that. I am keeping my eyes out for masters programs afteI wr I pass this test, though.

    I love the proverb that you shared. I will write this down.

    I have allowed the crappy and mean people to get me down and in the way of my studying. At one point, I planned a study schedule and told one co-worker that I couldn't go to lunch weekly anymore so I could focus on studying. She ended up getting very mad at me. That really hurt, like she didn't believe I was truly studying, and compounded with the office bully, I just lost all energy and drive. I really need to get focused. I need to follow a plan that I can stick to, regardless of how I feel.

    I have read some success stories. Today I will write up a plan for me to pass FAR and I will simply follow the plan. I appreciate all of your responses. I will also look at local CPA firms.

    Thank you. Also, I apologize for the all caps. I normally do not do that, but last night I was feeling very down and wasn't paying attention. I will be more careful next time.

    #610155
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I fixed the topic for you so not all caps 🙂 All you have to do is edit your original post and it lets you edit the topic.

    I haven't had to deal with what you have so I cannot really give examples of how I got past that, but just know that there are a lot of people who at some point in their CPA journey begin to think they cannot do this. That was me my first attempt in 2008-2009. You just have to push yourself as much as you can – remind yourself that this is what it is going to take to get yourself in a better position and a happier life. You've dealt with a lot and must be a strong person to push past all that and continue to try to make your life better for yourself. You can do this!!! And everyone here is here to help you along your way!

    Good luck!

    #610156
    fuzyfro89
    Participant

    There are infinite excuses NOT to do something, but you only need one reason to do something.

    I'm sorry about the shit pie life has thrown your way. Trying to re-enter the work force after 15 years out of it is hard enough on its own, and then you want to add on trying to enter a true profession which requires even more!

    You should feel accomplished just for deciding you want to change your station in life. Many people go their entire lives and don't fight to improve themselves or the lives for their children. You aren't one of them.

    I empathize with your plight at work with negative people, but at the end of the day, other people will let you down. Would you be willing to give up the CPA in order to make your coworker happy? Of course not! So get over it, explain to him/her what you're trying to do, why you have to change your schedule, and if he/she still doesn't get it, then good riddance!

    #610157
    Mamabear
    Member

    This thread is about obtaining the CPA in your 40s or later…lots of motivation from people about starting later and whether or not it's worth it.

    https://www.another71.com/cpa-exam-forum/topic/is-cpa-worth-it-in-late-40s

    CPA Exam - Finally DONE (November 2014)
    BEC (08/10/13) 80
    AUD (08/24/13) 65 (11/13/13) 85
    FAR (04/12/14) 81
    REG (07/19/14) 69 (11/29/14) 87!!

    #610158
    jaemanminard
    Participant

    @susanjean2014

    Sorry about what you are going through. I have no motivation in taking the exam either – but my issue is not my workplace, but just the fact that I just don't want to do this. But, I just take it up to Him and He gives me the desire and the will to do it.

    As far as your job, I am sorry. I would hate to be in that mess where you are in. But just know that if there is a bully at your workplace, then she's very insecure about herself. She probably feels like she needs to be authoritative to make herself feel better. I would just focus on my job and not worry about her. You will always deal with people like that even if you were the best performer at your job. It's pretty inevitable regardless, which is terrible because people are just out there trying to hurt others for no reason. But just remember that those people that do that are just very insecure about themselves.

    As far as studying, this is what I am doing: I am using CPAexcel and doing one lesson at a time. Each lesson, I read the slides, text, flashcards, and do the problems. I make notes for each lesson and copy + paste the MC's/SIMS onto MS Excel. I do that for every lesson. Afterwards, instead of going back to the program, I go back to the MS Excel with my notes/MC's/SIMS and go from there. It's much organized and efficient.

    Meanwhile, I also study Jeff's Ninja notes. I would recommend doing what he says – that is, either type out the notes (I prefer because it is more efficient) or write it out. I would also do more questions because really, you're going to need more practice on the questions. CPAexcel and Jeff's notes are just your foundation, but practice makes perfect – which means you need to practice more on the problems. This is what I am doing. In that way, you can see variety of problems and be more prepared for the real thing.

    I am going to follow this method and see if that works for me. I will let you know how well I do.

    “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.” (Blaise Pascal) *Revelation 3:20, Isaiah 53, John 14:6, Ephesians 2:8-10*

    #610159

    Age really doesn't matter for the CPA. What you have to do is recondition your brain for academic learning. Real world learning and academic learning are two very different things. That's why it takes somebody who's been out of school a while to get geared up and somebody fresh out of school to figure it out. It's also why I ignore a GPA when I consider recent grads; I look for other traits…but back to the point:)

    When I first started the process in 2012 it had been a full decade since completing my MBA. I had a Finance degree and a ton of finance classes to go along with it but needed some accounting just to sit. So I took 5 accounting classes over two semesters at my local community college. Before deciding to take the CMA and then begin the CPA this year. At the time I grumbled a lot about it…but looking back it was like training wheels for my brain. I had to get back on the bike and although the CPA and community college are very different….It helped me get much closer to the test and retain process needed for the CPA.

    My question for you OP. Do you need any additional classes to certify? You might be better off taking a semester off from the CPA…take some accounting classes in areas that are CPA weaknesses. You can then strengthen your weaknesses while retraining your brain. Just a thought.

    As for your job…I agree with the rest. You need an intermediate position between the one you are at and the one you want. If nothing else at least you keep your sanity. Good luck!

    MBA,CMA,CPA, CFF?, ABV?

    #610160
    CPA50
    Participant

    Susanjean,

    You got this! Look at all the new and encouraging friends you just made on this board. I just turned 50 which makes me the elderly wise woman/crone ;). I have a degree in Speech Communications from 1985. I started this journey 10 years ago when my daughter was born. I had one accounting class from my degree, so had to go back to school (with a newborn) and slowly get all my education requirements. And, I'm already looking at Masters programs. (Guess I'm a late bloomer who loves school.)

    So what to do…

    You can ignore them, you can feel sorry for them since they have nothing else in their lives, and they are jealous that you are working to succeed, you can get a job mowing lawns, gardening or temping while you study and completely remove yourself from the emotional vampires. They are sucking your energy dry and you don't need to have to deal with that. Surround yourself with encouraging, supportive, uplifting people who think you are fabulous! I had two very good-paying, but incredibly toxic clients that I stepped away from just before I began to study. The lack of money was hard, but I passed AUD with most brain cells intact.

    Find your happy place to focus on. With me, it's imagining the CPA certificate hanging on my wall and feeling so incredibly proud of myself for working hard and staying with it.

    My brother sent me this…

    “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

    Nom nom nom…

    AUD - 80
    BEC - 77
    FAR - 80
    REG - 80
    3 years

    + 16 tests

    + 2 expired sections

    = DONE FOREVER!

    AUD 88 (expired), 80 retake
    FAR 64,69,67,73,67,73,73,73, August 3
    REG 75 (expired) September 7
    BEC 72, 77

    The adventure continues...

    #610161
    LaComptable
    Participant

    @susanjean2014. First, this is totally doable. Accept that you'll have obstacles along the way. Be flexible, be willing to roll with the punches. Most of all, believe in yourself. Take a leap of faith that if you just keep working at it, you'll achieve it.

    Most of us, in order to pass these tests, have had to prioritize to the point that we've had to cut out certain things – like going out to lunch at work since that hour of the day is valuable study time. Don't feel bad about having to do that, and don't let that coworker's lack of understanding get to you. The reality is that there will likely be lots of people along the way who just don't know a lot about what the CPA exam process entails and why it takes such commitment – and you will have to listen to those people say rude, inconsiderate things because they just don't understand what is required to pass this exam. (for example, check out this thread https://www.another71.com/cpa-exam-forum/topic/stupid-things-said-by-coworkers-relatives-or-friends-regarding-taking-this-exam) Don't let it get to you. Use these boards as moral support because here, we all get it. We all understand how hard it is, even those of us who haven't had to do it in your circumstances.

    You really have to be able to focus on this and commit to it. Prioritize. What is really important is being able to focus your attention where it counts – your kids, your studies – not weekly luncheons with people who don't seem to be rooting for your success anyway. I would just be polite to that person and let it go.

    I hope you keep us posted on how you are. You can do it!!

    BEC - 88
    AUD - 74, 87
    REG - 77
    FAR - 63, 82

    CIA certified in 2013

    #610162
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    If you don't like your job, make passing the CPA Exam your number one priority because that's whats going to be your ticket out. That's what motivates me every single day. I am in an entry level internal audit job that I don't particularly like, nor do I see a progressing career path. Unless I want to be stuck doing whatever my manager tells me to do, I need to get the CPA done and have more doors open up for me. That's what's motivating me to get it done. It does suck coming home after work and studying but you have to remember that it's only temporary.

Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 24 total)
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