[FindaJob]

I have not even got my CPA and i’m already married ! so its not as if i’m gonna use any of the cheesie pickup lines … I just want to get a good laugh …

when my friend got his CPA he had a crush on some girl… i told him that he should tell her this:

Hey, I’m a CPA. How would you like to discuss your taxes on dinner in this new Italian place. Saturday night ?

That was my one and only line .. whats yours 😛 ?

two to go !

[Anonymous]

This is hilarious and has great potential to get extremely tacky! LOL

[Anonymous]

Found these on the internet…

10) Why don't we go back to my place, and I'll let you audit my staff.

9) Wanna sneak out behind the ‘hedge' and play with my financial instrument?

8) If I had you, I wouldn't need to use my Handbook.

7) I think we should swap some liquid assets.

6) Take me home tonight, and I guarantee you'll see an extraordinary item.

5) I've been in public practice for several years, and that's easily the largest endowment I've ever seen.

4) Nice ‘boot'.

3) I'd do just about anything to see your GAAP.

2) Can I put my substance all over your form?

1) So, how do you feel about things in arrears?

[Anonymous]

– Baby, I wanna liquidate your assets.

[sarah210]

“How 'bout we do it double entry.”

REG- 53, 91
BEC- 88
FAR- 62, 85
AUD- 85

Ethics- 93

[nearly_there]

Those were hilarioius haha!

You wanna go back to my place and make some entries?

FAR - 85 November 2011
AUD - 81 January 2012
REG - 68 March 2012
BEC - 86 April 2012
REG - 92 July 2012

[jeff]

Guy: Your feet tired? Because you've been running in a straight line in my mind all day along.

Girl: I'm a MACRS 150 kind of girl, sorry.

(lame, I know…)

AUD - 79
BEC - 80
FAR - 76
REG - 92

Jeff Elliott, CPA (KS)
NINJA CPA | NINJA CMA | NINJA CPE | Another71

[red3biggs]

‘How bout we go back to your place. I believe I might find some exposure.'

AUD: 8/17/2012
REG: 4/29/2013
BEC: 7/8/2013
FAR: 1/16/2014

[Kodiak]

These are hilarious. Please do continue.

AUD - Pass
FAR - Pass
BEC - Pass
REG - Nov

[Anonymous]

-“My Trial Balance just won't balance without you.”

-“May I test your internal controls?”

-“I'll show you my spreadsheets…if you'll show me yours.”

-“Madam, may I say that those are the nicest ledgers I've seen this accounting period?”

-“Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.”

[littlenumberrobot]

“you're the debit to my credit”

CA CPA - All because of the journey listed below
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
FAR - 53('10), 8/25/12 79 PASSED!
REG - 66('11), 69('12), 12/06/12 77 PASSED!!
BEC - 58('10), 74('12), 01/05/13 77 PASSED!!!
AUD - 43('11), 66('12), 69('13), 74('13) 7/29/13 85 PASSED!!!!!

(Combinations of Roger, Yaeger, Wiley Book, Wiley TB, & NINJA Notes)

Ethics 90%

[peter olinto fan]

Show me your debits; I'll fill in your GAAP.

FAR - 81
BEC - 73, 73, 79
REG - 72, 75
AUD - 72, 68, 82

DONE!!!!

[red3biggs]

I ‘depreciate my time with your assets

You T account is exposed/showing (must be wearing a thong)

If you like what you see up here, what till you find out what I've got below the line

AUD: 8/17/2012
REG: 4/29/2013
BEC: 7/8/2013
FAR: 1/16/2014

[Anonymous]

lmao I have never been so ashamed to be an accountant lol

[Anonymous]

I have more than enough RAM to run your software package!

Hopefully this date won't be classified as cost of good sold!

response to cheese pickup line: Not tonight, it's my month-end!

And now a quote from Larry the Cable guy….Lord I'm sorry about that! 😀

[red3biggs]

When you see my margins, you'll have liquidation.

AUD: 8/17/2012
REG: 4/29/2013
BEC: 7/8/2013
FAR: 1/16/2014

[Author]

Replies