March 19, 2020 at 3:21 pm #2965283amandaaaParticipant
Thank you so much everybody, for letting me join in your trials and tribulations. I know I’ve posted about this but I’m just brimming with emotions and want my voice heard.
5 years ago, I had a traumatic event and my world came crashing down. Consequently I had a mental breakdown and went on disability. I couldn’t work for three years. All I did was cry and I barely ate and even got sent to mental health facilities. Slowly I began to build my life back up one at a time, but my self confidence was completely destroyed. However, what really held me back was not having my CPA. I was embarrassed that all my peers had passed it already and I couldn’t summon the courage to even make my first attempt. When I finally did, I put so much pressure on myself that I drove myself hysterical and tried to kill myself days before the exam. I ended up in the psych ward for 5 days (not fun).
I decided I would find a different field to work in because I wasn’t strong enough. I also started dating an accountant who didn’t have his CPA either. He ghosted me and I was hurt and enraged. I committed to passing the exams after that.
I passed the first three with scores in the high 80s-90s. Then REG was my last one and I was burnt out. I was burnt out from passing the first three within 6 months. I failed and I was broken inside. I went to the library the day I knew and studied hard and did my retake at the beginning of the next testing period. Unfortunately I was so psyched out that i had a panic attack during my break and I was too scared to go back in. The proctors at Prometric were even trying to calm me down. I forfeited the exam and cried for days. My friend told me I should take a month or two off and then try again.
So I did. More traumatic stuff happened and I had a breakdown at work and went on leave. I was supposed to take my exam within a month so I devoted all my time at the library studying. Then I passed! And I’m going back to work on Monday.
If you’re still grinding, be proud that you persevered. There is an end to the madness and it will be worth it. I know you’ve been studying your ass off and doing the best you can. Don’t beat yourself up that you “didn’t study hard enough.” Study smarter, not harder. Figure out what’s the best way for you to learn. I ditched the lectures because I was watching them just to get them done. Be kind to yourself if you hit a road block and think of it as a trial run. TAKE TIME OFF AFTER YOU FAIL. You might be limited on time but you’re burnt out. If you can, take a month off. If not, at least a week. Lastly, seek therapy if you’re like me and need it. I’m still struggling but this win is what I needed to start to regain the confidence I used to have.
I’ll check back here every once and a while, but I’ll miss you all. It’s been glorious to celebrate and it’s been humorous to fail. Thank you so much.March 19, 2020 at 3:32 pm #2965292ReckedParticipant
Wow, profound story. Congrats on making it through, and congrats on finally being done!
Hopefully your future is looking much brighter now.
No permanent solutions to temporary problems! This too shall pass.March 19, 2020 at 7:16 pm #2965451CPAHOPEParticipant
What a victory and congrats! Hope no more mental breakdowns and good things to happen in the future! I used to feel embarrassed that others i know have passed the first time but I do not care anymore. All i care about is passing now.March 19, 2020 at 8:27 pm #2965499TncincyParticipant
Wow, This is tremendous. I'm glad you posted this. Congrats!!!! Keep those fingers crossed for the rest of us. I am really excited for you and hope your future is prosperous. It took a lot of courage to tell the story of your mental health and the rebound. So many people think this test is so easy and can be done at the snap of a finger. When they listen to all the obstacles with frustrations we face, but they don't really know what it takes to become a CPA and function as a professional. I realize that most of the pressure I am facing, I put on myself. How to stop over pressuring myself? I have not found the answer but to pass this thing. Again, really good story and go be the best CPA out there. Congrats !!!March 20, 2020 at 11:00 am #2965778amandaaaParticipant
Thank you guys for the support! I’m fortunate that I was able to take REG right before Prometric closed its doors. Some good news in light of all the darkness ahead.March 20, 2020 at 10:20 pm #2966249monikerncParticipant
Amandaaa, enjoy your life and always remember how important your health is! Good luck and take care!
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