[Motivation] Everything is falling apart

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    Topic
  • #157050
    hope
    Participant

    Hey everyone,

    I guess before I begin, I want to share a little bit about myself. I graduated top 20% of my class. Got an offer from a big four. Life was great and I felt like I was on top of the world. But all that changed after I graduated. I was studying and working at the same. Life was just totally miserable. After failing the first two parts, my morale and motivation just totally dropped. It became so bad that it affected my work performance. With my fear becoming reality, I got laid off. At that point, I just went into depression without telling anyone, because of the expectations that I needed to live up to, for my friends and family. Didn’t want to tell them the truth that I got laid off, I told them that I just resigned and wanted to focus on my exam. Also didn’t want to reschedule my exam for the failed parts (since I scheduled for all four), I just went ahead and took the rest thinking now that I don’t have a job now and have all day. But with my head still in the gutter, I failed the next two parts. All four parts with the scores of between 71-73.

    This all feels like a dream. How can one moment I can be on top of the world and the next feeling like the biggest loser. I used Beckers for my studying material, because everyone I knew recommended it. I used to be so motivated and stuck to my studying schedule, but now, I can’t even finish one section without taking a break or procrastinating. I also understand that my friends who also is taking the exam can be a great help and a source of energy, but it can also be so demoralizing, because everyone of them has already passed, with their first try. I am truly happy for them, but at the same time, I just feel so dumb. Instead of scheduling for all four parts at once, I am now scheduling two parts at a time now (advise that I got from friends and through this site).

    Every night in my bed, I would just think about everything that has happened and it would just hurt so much. Maybe accounting just isn’t something for me? And just recently as everything was turning so dark, some light shed. During mid December when my REG scored was released, I passed with a 76. At that point, I just don’t know what I should be feeling. Yes, I was happy, because I knew that was one down and three to go. But also at the same time, I felt so sad because when I was working for the big four, I was in tax, so this should’ve been my strongest part out of the four. At that point, I just don’t know how I will survive the remaining parts.

    Sorry if this was lengthy and boring, but I just needed a place to vent. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this smile up for my family and friends, because I am just totally breaking down. With FARE being my next part and a few weeks away, I just need some advise and motivation to carry on. I tried taking a break, going to the gym, etc, but I am still feeling the same. I am just out of ideas so any inputs will be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 25 total)
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  • #256827
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You've passed one exam, you can pass the other three! As someone that doesn't work in public accounting, every section of the exam was excruciating, but if I can do it, you can do it! You're very close with scores in the 70s.

    Passing the exam has nothing to do with how well you did in college, what you do for a living, etc. It's all about studying your butt off and thoroughly learning the material. What worked for you in college, probably won't work for this exam. All thoughout high school and college I rarely studied, but made good grades. I really had to learn how to study to pass the exam. It meant giving up my social life and spending 3 hours each night studying and more on the weekends. I still did stuff with my friends and family, just not all the time. I allowed myself one day each week to do whatever I wanted with no studying. You have to take some time out for yourself, just not all time.

    There's nothing wrong with breaking down. I totally had a breakdown after I found out I had failed BEC and REG both for the second time. My mom and husband suggested I take a break (a week or so) from studying to get myself together. So I did. I also switched up my study materials by downloading the Gleim software and ordering the Yeager CRAM with the Wiely books. It helped! I would suggest trying different materials. Sometimes just seeing something presented in a different way can be the difference between a 74 and a 75.

    Also, you say that you're taking FAR in a couple of weeks. Don't be a afraid to reschedule if you feel like you're not ready. I did that for several of the exams.

    Tell your friends and family how you're feeling. They can be a great source of motiviation when you're down.

    Sorry if this is all over the place, I wanted to type something out before I go to work. Just hang in there!!

    #256828
    wahoo
    Participant

    If you have scored in the 70's on all parts you are well within reach. All you need to do is make the 300 club- 75 + 75 + 75 + 75. Keep at it and you will get there. I am 13 years out of school and have found that as long as you have the right attitude and effort bad work situations tend to take care of themselves. Good luck.

    If you start to get too depressed over your situation be sure that you talk with someone about it. If you let these things fester, they can make you way worse in the long run.

    FAR 76, REG 86, BEC 83, AUD 86
    Accountant Wilmington NC

    #256829
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hope,

    I completely know where you are coming from. I had never made below an 80 on any test I had ever taken…even on those in college that I just knew I had “failed.” So when I walked out of my first exam, BEC, feeling like I had been hit by a brick, deep down I thought that I just do this with tests, I was sure by some miracle I had pulled it off, just like I had time and time before. So when I saw that I scored a 69, I had a breakdown. I spent a whole day moping around my apartment, not answering phone calls, just feeling sorry for myself. Then I bucked down and studied for AUD, and walked out of that test feeling like a champ, only to find out I made a 73. At that point it became personal, me against this test, and I refused to let it conquer me. So I buckled down and now I have passed two parts. You are so close with scores in the 70s, and even if it is a 76, you should celebrate, because a pass is a pass. 75 or 99, you will still have those three letters next to your name.

    Aside from my own personal experience, I have a good friend who went through the same situation as you. She couldn't pass the exam in two years, and as a result, was laid off from one of the Big 4. She was devastated at first, because several people who don't do the job as well as she did got to stay simply because they had their CPA and she didn't. However, now I think she sees it as a blessing. No more working until 2 or 3 a.m. and not nearly as much pressure as before. Plus now she has completed the exam and is providing a lot of benefits to a company who appreciates her and her work, while in addition respecting her right to personal time. Moral of the story I guess is to hang in there. You will do it eventually, and when you do, it will all be worth it!

    #256830
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    to hope! I am pretty much understand what are you going thru. I was laid off on April right after busy season, I took this exams 12 times. At first, I failed all of them with about 70h, I was about to give up. I took a brief time off after taking audit and BEC and gettiong 74. Om summer I returned to a studying mode and I passed with 85 and 81 the last two. Now, I am a CPA, eventually found a job in a small company. Hours is much better. Big 4 is not end of the world. The morale of the story: come down, use your time wisely now and you will path. I am sure you will find a better job. Please do not give up, do not be frastrated. Everything will work out for you. Happy New Year to you and all candidates, I wish you to path in 2010 and find a job. Good luck to everyone. Thank you Jeff.

    #256831
    kamalmatta
    Participant

    Yes.. I am agree with Anita. You need to be think outside the Big 4 & life is beautiful. Take exams positivelly, you will get sucess soon.

    kamal

    #256832
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Anita, I remember you from that long miserable wait for BEC score with multiple IT failures on NASBA… Congratulations on becoming a CPA!!!

    #256833
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thank you so much, you are also so close to it. Hope to here great news from you sometime soon.

    #256834
    hope
    Participant

    Thanks for all the replies. Things are feeling a lot better after venting last night and from your replies. I also can't believe how much trouble the CPA is giving other people too. One quote that got me going through this whole time and probably still will is “Success is how high you bounce, when you hit the bottom.” Not sure who its from though. hehe. *Takes a deep breath* FARE, here I come!

    Good luck to everyone!

    #256835
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hope,

    First of all, the posts above are right on. Big 4 isn't all that great from what I've read on here from several people.

    I was a cocky straight-A student my whole life, but this exam has knocked me down several notches. I “feel dumb” too. Some people are great test takers and require minimal studying while others have to work extremely hard at it, like myself. Just keep practicing and realize there are good days and bad. You passed REG and your scores are so close.

    My advice is to get plenty of rest because in study-mode, your brain is getting fatigued. I don't study at night either, or I would never get to sleep. Plus that is my only time to see my kids. You need some downtime to recuperate and don't feel guilty about it.

    This forum has been a lifesaver for me. Unlike most, I am not surrounded by CPA's at work or as friends so this forum has been my support system. I come here to take breaks from studying (it's my little treat to myself) and I see what people are struggling with in their careers, exam taking and personal lives. This exam is tough, but the people on here can relate to us.

    You're obviously very smart and have high expectations of yourself (I think most accountants do). Don't beat yourself up for not being perfect. It's frustrating and we probably all felt like giving up at some point, but just know it's okay. Don't throw in the towel just yet.

    #256836
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    CPAWannaBe is so much true. These exams are very hard, nothing to compare with college. Most people I personally know(including myself) are struggling with CPA exams. Hope, do not kill youself, life is too short! I am sure you will path. The only thing I want to add, if you feel that prep material does not work for you, swith to something else. I saw a lot of positive comments about yaeger, may be you should consider that. Once again, good luck and HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you!

    #256837
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hope – I am very sorry to hear your story. It is a very bad chain of events. Getting laid of must have been devastating, but please do not get too discouraged. You can focus on what you can control, and that is studying to pass the CPA exam. To persevere through this tough time will go a long way in the future. You will get through this. You have a strong work ethic, and obviously interview well, so once you pass, there will be no reason for people not to hire you for the job you want. Once you get through this, you'll look back at the struggles you had and will remind you of how hard your work has paid off.

    You are very fortunate to have goals to achieve despite being laid off. Normally when you are laid off, all you can do is find a “replacement” job. However, you will have spent the time to better yourself and become a CPA during the time in-between – and you will have many more options. During your next interview once you become a CPA, it won't be tough to show that you are a strong person who made the best of an unfortunate situation – and they will remember that.

    Good luck!

    #256838
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    To Hope: I have so much to write I don’t know where to start. I was a straight A student in collage as well and these exams are making my life miserable. My spouse still can’t believe that I studying like crazy and I still failed twice. One thing is sure you gotto keep your moral up and all will be good one day. I already passed three parts and will be retaking REG in January. Please don’t give up. One day you will laugh at yourself thinking back at these posts and say I’m done with the exams as well.

    Happy New Year to all.

    #256839
    wiggy
    Participant

    Hope-

    You have only failed a few times so it's not the end of the world. Continue to work hard and you'll get it. Don't worry about what others think and it's totally OK to break down once in all while. It took me 21 tries in 4 years to pass the CPA so I know about failure and breaking down, but I also know that you can do it! Keep believing in yourself…you'll do it!!!

    #256840
    hope
    Participant

    Thanks for the kind replies! Everything just came so fast (less than a year) that I just didn't know what hit me. But I am feeling a lot better now so don't worry about me. =) Anyways, I took the advice and went ahead and extended the time for my upcoming FAR exam. Hope everyone had a happy new year! New year, new start! Wish everyone luck!

    #256841
    glutenator
    Participant

    I'm not trying to minimize your post, but I'll focus on the good parts. One is that you passed REG, two is that you came so close on the other three exams (71-73), and three is that studying the second time around will seem much easier since it will all seem familiar rather than brand new and trying to learn it. I work for a big 4 and survived the layoffs this last year, but I'm in Advisory and don't understand the Accounting piece as much as those in Assurance and Tax. I failed REG with what I think was a horrific score of 67, after studying feverishly. I did pass BEC, luckily and that has boosted my spirits. It also made me realize I should postpone FAR (was going to take on 1/26), so I could have more time, so I moved it to April. I'm also retaking REG in Feb and feel much better about it now. Keep your chin up, things will get better, and it sounds like they already are.

    I'll Pass Eventually
    REG (67, 66), BEC (79), FAR (5/26/10), AUD (August 2010)

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