Okay to mention I have a family during recruiting?

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  • #1520988
    Steph
    Participant

    I am an untraditional candidate in my mid 20’s who hopes to get in on campus recruiting next year when I am completing my Master’s (Bachelor’s was unrelated to Accounting).

    Serious questions: During the recruiting/interview process, can I talk about the fact that I have a young child at home? Does this matter to Big 4 recruiters?

    I doubt anyone will ask me point-blank if I have children, but my son (and husband) are such a huge part of who I am, I would have to work really hard not to casually talk about them.

    DONE WITH EXAM as of July 2018.

    CA license pending as of July 2020.

    REG: 60, RETAKE MAY 2016
    FAR: AUG 2016
    AUD: APR 2016
    BEC: 68, RETAKE PENDING

Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)
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  • #1521007
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I recruited in a similar position, 26-27 while earning master's. I think recruiters expect you to talk about your family. From my experience, they want to know that you and your family will have a solid support system in your work location (especially if you are seeking an offer out of state). My wife was pregnant during recruiting so it was talked about often and was never a concern.

    #1521015
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Don't bring it up. They are not allowed to ask.

    Some will ask tricky questions to lead you to reveal that you have family obligations at home. Some departments are very good at work-life balance and they won't hold it against you, but in general, Big 4 recruiters are looking for people with 100% open availability to travel, work long hours, work on the weekends, etc.

    #1521025
    I’mAGoingConcern
    Participant

    I wouldn't bring it up unless asked about it, personally. I know of two girls that did recruiting the same time as me that both had kids. Neither of them are working for the Big 4. I'm not sure if it was self-selection or what, but yeah. Like mentioned above, they aren't allowed to ask.

    In my eyes, if it doesn't help you get the job, don't bring it up.

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    #1521031
    Missy
    Participant

    They're not allowed to ask, and not allowed to discriminate against you for having one, but believe me they do figure that into their decision. They will assume that every time one of the kids is sick you will take time off, and time off for field trips and sports games. They will assume you're unable to put in the hours.

    My family is my world and I do bring it up, if I lose a job offer over it thats fine by me I cannot work anywhere that doesn't embrace a family friendly atmosphere and if it means losing out on my “dream” job, so be it my “dream” was wrong………..

    That said if you want this job no matter what, don't bring it up.

    Old timer,  A71'er since 2010.

    Finance manager/HR manager

     

     

    Licensed Massachusetts Non Reporting CPA since 2012
    Finance/Admin/HR Manager

    #1521091

    Depends how gung ho you are on a particular job. As others have mentioned, recruiters may be looking for someone who can grind for long hours on a continuous basis. If you don't tell them you have a family, they may think you are the right fit and select you. Now you actually have to grind the long hours on a continuous basis and be kept from your family. So in this case, did you win? That's a personal question, because some people have the mindset “I need to do absolutely everything necessary to provide for my family at any cost”, while others feel differently and would rather not sacrifice the work life balance that will ultimately keep them away from their family.

    I'd be honest and upfront that way you and the recruiter find what the right fit is for you and it's not one sided. Some are of the opinion that getting the job is the important thing and then you figure things out later once you've been hired. I think this leads in a lot of cases to resentment by one side whether it be work, family or yourself because the long hours have a way of being stressful for everybody.

    Whether you are honest or not, the Big4 position is going to require a ton of time and they are not going to let you pass because you have a family. Lots of people in public have families :-/

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    u
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    #1521933
    PubMaster
    Participant

    Everyone else in this thread has great points. However a different perspective is based off of what you said, “my son (and husband) are such a huge part of who I am, I would have to work really hard not to casually talk about them”. What this means to me is that this is your passion and you probably do everything outside of work with these two people. I totally understand as I have a son as well who is 3 and he's my world. Since those two people are such a huge part of who you are, not mentioning them is suppressing who you really are and what you really feel like saying.

    I think if you feel like mentioning something about your husband and son that's fine. Most people I met in public had families. Just know that they're going to expect you to have to make some sacrifices from your family to do work for them. If anything, this is a huge common ground I've found with people I'd otherwise have not much else to talk about. So, personally, I'd bring it up if it feels right or plays into a story or example I'm telling.

    Everyone above me had really good advice. Just remember this is just another perspective on it from someone who worked in public with a family and worked under people with families. If you're a hard worker and never have issues getting things done, they'll never hold it against you if you put your family first. If they do you probably don't want to work for them anyways. Hope that helps. Best of luck and let us know how it goes.

    #1521955
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I straight up bring it up from the on set. Like you said, they are a big part of your life, and an employer will likely be having to accommodate you on days that your kids are sick or when you need to miss work to address their needs. It's like what was mentioned earlier that they can't legally come out and ask you, but you also don't want to take on a job that you won't be fully able to commit to given your family obligations. I went through the same thing, but luckily I found an employer that allows me to be very flexible with my schedule when it comes to my family. The only tough part is that my pay is well below industry. I am now looking for a new employer that will pay me more, but that also has some flexibility with my family commitments.

    #1522020
    Dwill2nd
    Participant

    @WTRDVL101 My question for you is are you sure you want the big 4 experience. I know it is different by firm/location but I have worked with and seen people in Public Accounting who sacrificed and or gave up a lot of their family time for work. Between the travel, working nights and weekends to meet deadlines, meet billable hour goals, eating time ect it takes a lot out of you. Then you do your regular family duties and any other free time you get you could be exhausted and want to rest. This can be very different if you are used to a lot of quality family time on a recurring basis.

    I personally think that short term sacrifice is worth it, but I know some who quickly decided that it was not.

    Again all experiences are different and some people are able to achieve a work/life balance.

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    #1522087
    ruggercpa2b
    Participant

    Dwill2nd does have a point. You have to be sure this is what you want. Busy season is hard and unless you are in a manager role, there is not much flexibility at Big 4. We would work till midnight at times during the week. An early night would be us leaving the client at 9 and prior to leaving the manager would ask what everyone was going to work on when they got home. You better believe people would check to see who all was online once you got home. Worked Saturdays and depending on the client some days we had to go in the office on Sundays. My husband took care of our house and dogs and I could tell it was taking a toll on him. We hired a house cleaner and laundry service. Once I found out I was pregnant, as much as I loved public accounting I knew there was no way that way of life would be sustainable with a newborn. I am now in private and love it.

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    I am so ready for this nightmare to be over. Been at this way too long.

    #1522248
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    DO NOT talk about your family. Recruiters want to know that you are available at their beck and call, make them think what they want but don't feed them this INFO.

    #1522299
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I haven't read the whole thread, so I apologize if I'm repeating what someone has already said…

    If your husband and son are a huge part of your life and very important to you, would you want to work for a company that chose not to hire you because they know you have a family? Or would you want to work for a company that expects you to be available 24/7? I don't think it's smart to mention them multiple times, but if they ask you questions about what you like to do in your free time or something that could allow you to naturally bring them up, I say do it (as long as you aren't afraid of missing out on a job opportunity because of it).

    For whatever reason, I had a strong aversion to public accounting and never even interviewed with a firm, so I can't speak from experience on what they are looking for in interviews. But, when I interviewed for my current job, I openly talked about being engaged at the time and that I was looking for a long-term job that offered great work/life balance so that when my husband and I do decide to have kids I don't have to feel like I either have to find a new job or constantly feel like my personal life and career are battling each other. And I still got the job!

    All in all, it depends on how important it is to you to find a job right now that will offer you the balance you want long-term. If you are willing to sacrifice that for a short while to gain experience, I say don't bring it up. If it's high on your priority list, find a way to mention them casually and briefly to feel out how they respond.

    #1522665
    Steph
    Participant

    Wow, you guys. You really came through. Thanks for participating in my thread and providing such thoughtful answers.

    Yes, my family is everything to me, but I feel restless and unfulfilled. I have only worked PT the last 3 yrs so that I could be available if something came up (illness, appointments, etc.). I also took that time to become eligible for and sit for the CPA exam. Now I am one away from being done with the exam (thanks, Roger!).

    Big4 is a nightmare in regards to work-life balance, but I know the training is invaluable, so I'm torn. I want to set myself up for a great career, but I also don't feel like getting divorced. I want to be successful, but I hate the idea of missing dumb school plays and soccer games where my kid is standing in a corner trying to stay as far away from the ball as possible.

    Please please please one of you successful female CPAs respond and tell me I can have it all. I can have a successful and profitable career but also have time to spend with my family.

    DONE WITH EXAM as of July 2018.

    CA license pending as of July 2020.

    REG: 60, RETAKE MAY 2016
    FAR: AUG 2016
    AUD: APR 2016
    BEC: 68, RETAKE PENDING

    #1522669
    livealittle
    Participant

    well, I'm female, somewhat successful, working on my CPA, am a supervisor at a CPA firm (50 ish staff) and I have a family.

    My husband is huge supporter of my career and CPA study path. That is what will make the difference. If your spouse isn't supportive and willing to help wherever needed, it will be infinitely harder.

    I also work at a great CPA firm, where family commitments don't seem to negatively affect promotions/recognition at work. This is for BOTH men and women. The other supervisor in my department's wife had a baby the first week of January. We teased him that it was poor planning on his part for busy season, but to my knowledge no one gave him grief about taking off 2 full weeks and leaving at 5 every day to pick their toddler up from day care.

    he does some work from home after hours, but not crazy. We all do a little work from home, but not crazy.

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    #1522867
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I personally think everyone should be who they are. I personally would not care if/if not someone had a family from a recruiting perspective, so in that regard I would not make a deal to prioritize mentioning it at all.

    That being said if you do get asked any questions and your family is a part of your answer – i would answer it truthfully. Just be yourself – focus on what enables you to add more value over others. I could be through perspective.

    Good luck!

    #1523775
    PubMaster
    Participant

    “Big4 is a nightmare in regards to work-life balance, but I know the training is invaluable, so I’m torn. I want to set myself up for a great career, but I also don’t feel like getting divorced. I want to be successful, but I hate the idea of missing dumb school plays and soccer games where my kid is standing in a corner trying to stay as far away from the ball as possible.

    Please please please one of you successful female CPAs respond and tell me I can have it all. I can have a successful and profitable career but also have time to spend with my family.”

    It's not always as bad as you think. Yeah, there's busy times when you have to put in longer hours. But there's also a lot of PTO (paid time off) and they're so flexible. They know the work can be done from anywhere. The office I worked in back when I worked in tax, we had a girl who was able to negotiate WFH status (work-from-home) after only having 1 kid. Three years later and now her husband does the exact same thing at the same company. And they have another kid.

    You have to create the opportunity for yourself, however. The girl above worked hard to get the WFH status and approval by our partners. So it is possible. Now she takes her kids to school, picks them up, and spends plenty of time with them. This busy season (Feb-Apr for some tax people), they are alternating when they work on the weekends. So one Saturday the mom will work and the dad will play with the kiddos, and vise versa next Saturday. Considering they only have to do this for mostly the end of March and beginning of April that's not bad at all… I'd wager that they're working 55 to 60 hours a week, yet still have plenty of family time.

    So yes, you can have it all, you just have to work hard and prove your worth from the get-go. You might not be able to secure WFH, but there's always flex arrangements once you make it past Senior, as well as other ways to leverage flexibility. Best of luck!

Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 18 total)
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