I can totally relate. I just took FAR (my first one) this past week, and I have absolutely no doubt that I failed. Right after the exam, I actually felt calm – probably because I was finally out of the testing center. I didn't have any crying sessions in my car afterward, or any strong emotions after I finished. I actually went out to a lovely dinner that night with my family to celebrate the test just being over. All this being said, I'm starting to question my plans of becoming a CPA. After having studied nearly every single day, during every spare moment I had either listening to audio lectures, pounding the MCQ's, reviewing SIMS, etc., I'm kinda over the whole thing. I can't imagine continue to do this for 3 or 4 or 10 more cycles. My husband, on the other hand, who patiently supported me during the 2 yrs of school I went through just to get enough hours to sit for the exam, is still gently nudging me to keep going. But I dunno….
I don't blame you for not having the motivation after all of the energy you already put into it just to have to do it all over again. I have mad respect for people who have to re-take it 3, 4, 5 times. After a second fail, I would probably throw in the towel. Part of that might just be that I'm older, already have a controller position with a big company, and a family, and I just don't have time or patience for something that takes me away from living a balanced life (no matter how short a season…except for month-end close….cuz that's my job…LOL).
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ―Aristotle