[smazthespaz]

So I started dating someone about two months ago and things are going really well (this is not just going to be me bragging the whole time). I’ve never really had a serious steady GF before, but I feel like this is turning into one of those relationships. For the record, I’m still against most forms of PDA.

Anyway, here is where I’m torn. I received a job offer today from my company to take another accounting position halfway across the country, where I would definitely stand out as a big yankee doodle. It isn’t a promotion, but it is a lateral move that would give me some serious brownie points with the corporate folks. I would be the only accountant at the plant. I could definitely say no to it, but it might affect my career path.

The first thing I thought about was the GF. I think it is still WAY too early to ask her to move with me, and besides, she has already hinted that her roots are planted in earlier conversations. I also don’t like the idea of a long distance relationship. My manager and I are pretty close, and I think she may have hinted to the interested party that I may refuse due to said GF. I know which way I’m leaning, but I have the weekend to decide. Do I talk to my girlfriend before making the decision? I don’t want to put her in an awkward spot. Any other advice???

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[CPA CMA]

As a man, career comes first. If years down the road, you are successful and wealthy, all those things will come to you, you can get as many GF as you like later on.

CPA, CMA

Master of Professional Accountancy (MPA) 12/17/2014

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CMA part 1 passed (6/15/15)
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Anticipated Licensure: August 2017

[ericl2]

Not to be mean to your girlfriend….but your relationship is still to new to alter your career for her. If you want this transfer, I say go ahead and do it. If you don't….then say no. Your relationship should not factor in the decision. If for some reason, your relationship doesn't work out…and you didn't take the promotion…you'll be pissed for not taking it.

[smazthespaz]

Well it's not a promotion, but I see where you guys are coming from. Thanks for the advice! It will be a difficult decision for sure.

REG - 83 11/24/14
AUD - 94 2/17/15
FAR - 93 5/26/15
BEC - 90 8/10/15

[Anonymous]

Two months is still really new to know a person. What if she breaks up with you tomorrow? then your going to kick yourself in the butt for not taking the position. I think you should mention it to her… but I definitely wouldn't want to turn down an opportunity (which you clearly said would be a good thing for your career) for a two month relationship.

[acamp]

I would lean towards career over the relatively short relationship.

With that said, I would really figure out what this move means. You said its lateral, but you'll earns points. Thats all well and good if those points turn into a promotion. However, your company may hire an outside manager at the new location and in terms of hierarchy, you might find yourself in the same spot that you are now.

Much easier decision if the move resulted in a bump in title and compensation.

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[Anonymous]

I was in the similar situation, but on the GF side. The guy I dated for 3 months had to relocated from Georgia to Washington state. It was a military order so he had to leave. When he told me about the news, I was upset at first. However, I can see how sad he was. He said he would try long distance if I was willing to as well. Since the relationship had been going well I decided to give it a try. It was actually an interesting experience for us. For example, I made weekly healthy diet menu for us, so we shop for the same ingredients and cook the same food for dinner (we also can talk to each other on Skype while cooking). On weekends, we rented the same movies from red box and watched at the same time (while we company each other on Skype). We both work a lot, so we were always very looking forward to the next trip we planned together. 8 months later, he proposed during our Disney trip in Florida. Now we have been married over two years and baby #1 is on the way. We both thought it was a fun long distance relationship. So my suggestion is to talk to the GF and let her know your struggle. You guys may figure out a way to make the relationship work. Not all long distance relationship is bad. On the other hand, if you choose to stay because of her, how do you know the relationship will work out. Sometimes things can go very easy when it's meant to be.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately no body on this thread is going to be able to give you an answer. Sometimes these types of things are not really for the fancy title or the bump in pay obviously those things help, but I've found in my short career that no matter how much my raise was from year to year it never seemed like enough ….sort of the “make more, spend more” phenomenon. I think your energy would be best spent thinking about things that are outside of your career trajectory. In 5 or 10 years, or even when you 65 are you going to regret not trying out this new experience in a different part of the country or will you “what if” yourself to death wondering if things would have worked out with your GF…you're obviously the only one who can decide but it's important to remember nothing is permanent unless you make it permanent. From a career standpoint, as a CPA you will always have opportunities…be selfish and do what you think will make you happy.

There really probably isn't a wrong answer here…make lemonade with whatever you choose. Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

Just talk to the GF already.

I think the fact that you are posting here (a CPA forum) for this type of advice says a lot – I'm just not sure what: either you really want to take the job but need help justifying/making yourself feel better about potentially hurting her or you really think this relationship is something special and want approval to choose love over work.

That's really something you have to figure out for yourself. But either way, I'd definitely talk to her, especially if she's the only thing stopping you from going. I hate when people make choices for me and assume they know what I'm thinking or how I'll react, especially with stuff like this. It is ultimately your decision and you need to do what works for you – but don't assume to know what her response will be. As others have pointed out, maybe she's planning on breaking up with you and will be more than happy to drive you to the airport OR maybe she sees a future with you and would be open to moving if you talked to her about it. (I know I know…you said she's expressed staying put, but sometimes people don't actually consider things like that until an opportunity presents itself. You just never know.) Either way, you have to give her the opportunity to tell you that.

[the LAST Coffee]

OP just wants opinion is what I'm getting at and here's mine;

I'd take the new career move.

Why?

We live in a world where long distance relationship is almost meaningless these days. Skyping, flying, etc. makes it easier. I have friends and even myself who dated people from Japan and made it all worked out (except me). Personally, if the relationship is serious as you say it could be, your GF will be supportive.

FAR 84 (AUG '15)
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[smazthespaz]

I really appreciate the advice guys. I have the weekend to beat myself up and they want an answer early next week. I'm going to talk to her tonight.

REG - 83 11/24/14
AUD - 94 2/17/15
FAR - 93 5/26/15
BEC - 90 8/10/15

[smazthespaz]

Cleverfairy – That's a great story! I'm really happy to hear it worked out for the best. I guess I would be open to a long distance relationship if she is. It doesn't sound ideal, but sacrifices must be made. I really don't think she is planning on breaking up with me, but then again, I'm not exactly the love guru

REG - 83 11/24/14
AUD - 94 2/17/15
FAR - 93 5/26/15
BEC - 90 8/10/15

[Missy]

First I'd carefully research what the move would entail, right now you're all wrapped up in the honor of getting the offer but after really thinking about it you may decide the move just isn't for you even if there was no gf to consider. Look at housing, what your commute would be like, etc. You may find that to get a place you can afford to live at you'd have to drive 50 mi to work and that could be a dealbreaker.

Then assuming you're comfortable with the logistics of the new opportunity, let the GF know. What if her perception of how your relationship is doing is not as positive as yours? I hope its not the case but what if she's already decided you're not “the one” but a pretty good pal? Who knows maybe she's ready to walk down the aisle but don't assume you're on the same page about the relationship. If you ARE on the same page, different ball game.

Old timer,  A71'er since 2010.

Finance manager/HR manager

 

 

Licensed Massachusetts Non Reporting CPA since 2012
Finance/Admin/HR Manager

[mhueycpa]

You'll always lose money chasing women, but you'll never lose women chasing money. Advice to live by. Luckily I married young so now I just worry about chasing the money.

THE 300 CLUB WILL DO JUST FINE!

[Anonymous]

If she hasn't put a ring on your finger, why should she have a vote on your career choices?

In all seriousness, you need to decide if you want the transfer regardless of the GF. If not, then she's not a factor in your decision and you can stay where you're happy and won't resent her for holding you back. On the other hand, if you're really excited about this job opportunity, tell her about it. That doesn't mean she gets a vote, but you don't know how she will react until you tell her. Why borrow trouble?

[Skynet]

smazthespaz – If you are in the SoCal, I'll take your GF off your hands so you can pursue your career ; )

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World Domination Plan

Phase I : Pass CPA Exams - Complete
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World Domination Plan

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