June 25, 2015 at 5:33 pm #195052AnonymousInactive
Working over 2,500 hours a year, and dealing with tax seasons is a lot going on, when you're studying for the CPA exam. Even most nights when I am lucky enough to be home from work by 6PM, studying is still almost impossible because my brain is just totally fried from work by the time I get home.
I met an amazing girl right when I started the CPA exam (about 14 months ago) and got great scores on the first three tests, and she has stood by me throughout test after test and tax season after tax season. We used to install a “2-night per week maximum” on the amount of times we were allowed to see each other and hang out while I was studying for the other tests. As difficult as that was, it worked and allowed me to get in good focus time when we were apart. Now suddenly that isn't enough anymore, I'm about halfway through the FAR material and she wants to go on “break” and probably is just going to leave me.
I can't count on how many times I tried telling her that this test is tough for me and I just don't have the time. She feels as though she isn't important/isn't respected and that I constantly put my needs above or before her own. I guess I do, isn't that the norm with this test? I would be happy to be there for her and do things for her, after this last test.
Please just tell me I'm not crazy, I'm soooo stressed about the test and work as it is, and now super upset about losing a great girl, you might think if she just totally leaves me or we go on ‘break' that it would be a gift for study time so I can cruise through the last test, but now that its getting real, even with her gone its hard to focus b/c now I'm sad 🙁June 25, 2015 at 5:42 pm #675597AnonymousInactive
That is sad, just make sure you are very clear to her that as soon as the test is over she is number 1.
If she done not get that then she is losing a good guy who once becomes a cpa can make good money
and possible have a future together.
It is her loss.June 25, 2015 at 5:45 pm #675598spikesrdParticipant
I feel your pain, bud. No matter how often my wife and I discuss how beneficial obtaining the certification will be, and how much preparation it will take to get it, she still complains when I tell her I am studying after work instead of heading straight home (toddlers inhabit the domicile so I can't focus at home). It makes it that much more difficult to concentrate and keep at it when someone else is pissed at you for studying instead of spending that time with them. Not sure what the solution to that problem is, or if one even exists, but I do know that nothing will stop me from passing the rest of the exams. You should look at it that way and hope that she's around when it's time to celebrate passing the last exam.June 25, 2015 at 5:51 pm #675599MissyParticipant
Its ok to be sad, its very hard. That said, let her go. Like, permanently. I am not saying this to be flippant. But as someone who's been married for a long time, the challenges a relationship faces are MUCH tougher than this exam when it comes to raising kids, aging parent, etc. If she wants to bolt because she's being asked to make a short term sacrifice for long term stability and well being, she is not the mother of your future children.
But take care of you and lick your wounds. I know how hard it is but if you can't hang when the finish line is clearly in sight, you can't meet me at the finish line either.June 25, 2015 at 5:51 pm #675600AnonymousInactive
Hmmm. Consider this; assuming that you have passed all the exams, what makes you think that the drama stops right there?
Value what is better in terms of a long-run.June 25, 2015 at 6:01 pm #675601joyflyingParticipant
@DanVerona89 I totally get what you are going through. Sitting for the exams while working and having a relationship/family can be very stressful. As tough as it sounds, our profession does take a lot of time from the ones we love. I was working full time for an internship and taking three courses while sitting for my exams, and my boyfriend is the type that wants to spend a lot of time with you – it is also a lot of pressure. The thing that is important is to make some time for both of you – it can be as simple as a call at night during the study break. There are people that require spending more time with their partners – it is not her or your fault.
Try talk to her and see she can understand. I hope things work out for you!June 25, 2015 at 6:15 pm #675602Tscape16Participant
She isn't worth it. Period.June 25, 2015 at 6:17 pm #675603AnonymousInactive
Right, as Peter Olinto would say, just let them leave you because once you get that CPA you are just going to trade up anyway, LOL
Anyway, thank you all for the kind words! I will likely revisit this page a few times over the next few days to try and keep my head straightJune 25, 2015 at 6:24 pm #675604MartinParticipant
Does she look as good as Skynet future girlfriend? If she is a 9, then show her proof that you will make close to 100K when you are done. You need to exaggerate a little for hot girls. The end of the following video applies to your particular situation and future CPA salary.June 25, 2015 at 6:28 pm #675605GatorbatesParticipant
She's not great if she won't understand the time demands. Stop fooling yourself.
There's probably another dude. Plenty of other great women out there. Especially once you have “CPA” next to your name.June 25, 2015 at 6:43 pm #675606AnonymousInactive
F that noiseJune 25, 2015 at 6:44 pm #675607SkynetParticipant
Pass the last exam, get your CPA, get a bottle of AXE Body Spray, and girls will throwing yourself at you.
You know that song “My Milkshake gets all the Boys in the Yard”
Well the other Version is
“My CPA gets all the Girls in the Yard”June 25, 2015 at 6:51 pm #675608taxgeek83Participant
Went through that when I was starting college. Working, going to class and studying took up a lot of my time. Got my associates degree and the poor kid thought I would be done after that. Needless to say, it was an interesting conversation when I started on my bachelor's….
Relationships, in my opinion, simply don't work unless both people support each other. It's not enough to just “put up with it” for a while. What happens if you decide you want to get a master's degree, or go for another certification? Ultimately, you need to do what's best for you. Just my opinion though. 🙂June 25, 2015 at 6:54 pm #675609win2betParticipant
when girls say they need a break or some space, it means they ready for some new D, drop her man. Her loss & now you can have more time to focus on finishing up the testJune 25, 2015 at 7:00 pm #675610AnonymousInactive
I signed up for CPA review knowing that it would test the relationship I was in. We were at a “poo-or-get-off-the-pot” point in our relationship and I needed to know for sure if he was the kind of guy that was really going to be there for me and support and encourage me. He wasn't and I'm glad I found out sooner rather than later.
Reread mla11692's comment above…truer words have never been spoken!June 25, 2015 at 7:04 pm #675611MartinParticipant
I agree with win2betmore. When they need time, you know she is already spending it with another dude. Put a digital recorder under her car sit..June 25, 2015 at 7:25 pm #675612Gronk-a-donkParticipant
Agree with all of the above posters. My girlfriend has been one of the biggest supporters of my endeavor and is more than willing to help in any way she can to pass the exam. That is the type of person you need in your life. Not someone who throws a hissy fit when they aren't getting enough attention.
I've dated many women like this (thanks Scottsdale). People like her don't change all of the sudden because you passed the test. She is a toxic person and is going to always manufacture drama between you two, or always have to have things focus on her. As much as it hurts to hear it, there is a near 100% chance of another guy (been there), Dump her immediately and cut off all contact. It will sting like a motherf***er the first 4/5 weeks but it will be worth it to cease all contact with her as opposed to having her toy with your emotions while you're focusing on a huge test.
You are obviously driven enough to pursue your CPA and the career that comes with such a high level of certification. You deserve a partner who is as motivated as you or totally willing to support something that will make both of your lives better. Rip the band-aid off, take a night to hang out with your best friends and have some drinks and blow off steam, then wake up the next day knowing that you are going to finish the exam, and that you deserve better. She'll regret this break up for a long time, you never will.June 25, 2015 at 7:25 pm #675613AnonymousInactive
Did I mention that after I pass the exam I need 22 more college credits to reach my 150, so I will be getting those by going for a Masters Degree in Taxation and possibly also Financial Planning. I'm already enrolled in Pace Univ. and took a class towards my MST there, got a 3.7!
I am also very interested in tackling the CFP exam after my masters. My current firm is a wealth management firm, lots of CPA's & CFP's here and the top partners have both credentials. Its extremely ambitious I know, but I don't like to think of myself as having any reason why I can't at least try.June 25, 2015 at 7:36 pm #675614futurePA CPAParticipant
I honestly just went through the same thing a little over a month ago. We ended up breaking up. Two days before she broke up with me she told me how proud of me she was and how she couldn't wait to marry me. Then two days later it was “we never see each other” and “I don't even feel like we're in a relationship anymore.” It hurt real bad man and it still hurts. But you have to tell yourself if she can't respect you enough and respect your goals in life then she's not worth it. Trust me, I've been single for a month now and while it sucks not having that companionship aspect of the relationship it has been nice being able to concentrate on studying and working on my goals. There is always another 1 out there. Keep your head up and good luck with your last exam!June 25, 2015 at 9:37 pm #675615AnonymousInactive
futurePA CPA sorry to hear you had to go through that as well. Hope we are able to get past it and leverage the time to get this test behind us so we can move on to better times in our lives. you keep your head up too!June 25, 2015 at 10:00 pm #675616HoldMyBeerCPAParticipant
I too have been down this road. However, it was during my years in undergrad. During my last semester of school I tried to take on a mammoth 28 units (10 classes) because I couldn't afford the rising costs of tuition in California. My family was tapped out and I reached my preferred limit on student loans ($15,000).
All that was going on while trying to work 20 hours a week at Disneyland and continue to date my ex-gf. I had four accounting classes (Cost, Government, Information Systems, and Financial Analysis) so my time was already limited. On top of my capstone course (strategic management), I had little time for social activity. It was the worst four months of my life. However, my gf at the time just wasn't getting it. There was constant interruptions from her. Complaining that I didn't care about her, that we didn't see each other enough, and that we should just break up.
Long story short, I survived that terrible semester by earning a modest 3.3 GPA overall. But my accounting GPA was terrible (2.7). I'll learn never to have someone else criticize me to that extent as I work towards my goals. I moved out here to Utah for that woman, I did more than I should to keep that relationship going, and I believe it set me back a couple of years professionally.
Now at age 23, I've got a second chance at this accounting profession, as I've managed to get hired at a small cpa firm in Salt Lake City. My goal is to attend grad school next summer, graduate in 2 years after that, and get my license shortly thereafter. This time around, I won't let those kinds of distractions get in my way. Especially if it's a gf who isn't getting how much you're sacrificing for both of your futures. My current gf knows that now. She's saying that she'll remain supportive, “As long as i'm in her presence, I can study. If it's a library, bookstore, or coffeehouse, it doesn't matter.” Though she loves books and loves to read, so I think, I'm in good shape there. I'm holding her to that, because when it gets rough again in a couple of years, I'm not making the same mistake twice.
I'm hoping that what I went through wasn't as awful for you. I wouldn't wish for anyone to go through that. In your case, it seems like you'll make it out alive. As you said, you've crushed the CPA exams so far with your health and sanity in tact. Once you get the last leg out the way, the world is your oyster, in more ways than one.
P.S.: I'm hoping that my last semester of college will prepare me well for the clusterf**k that is also known as studying for the CPA exam.June 25, 2015 at 11:07 pm #675617TncincyParticipant
It's too bad that the relationship is what it is….you have to make a choice. If she wants space, back up then. Really, now you know that she wants what she wants and not too patient or willing to wait. So you just have to go on and pass this last part and if YOU still want a relationship with her, then pick it up after you pass. If it's not this test it will be something else,so take a good honest look at this relationship and where it's headed. Good luck on the next part.June 26, 2015 at 12:11 am #675618SkynetParticipant
DanVerona89 – I'm pretty sure there are some single ladies here on A71 for you.
So ladies of A71, there is a soon to be bachelor available ; )June 26, 2015 at 1:30 am #675619AnonymousInactive
Sorry. Definitely not just you. I hadn't seen my friends in 6 months on my final stretch.June 26, 2015 at 11:35 am #675620AnonymousInactive
The CPA exam is extremely hard on relationships. Before getting too involved with the exam you need to sit down with the other person and let them know exactly what's going on and that you're not going to be as available as you like. Hopefully it's a short term thing (6 months to a year) but it's going to take an extreme amount of study and dedication to pass. Even after “the talk” they're not going to get it. Not until you're several months in and have actually seen what the exam is doing to you.
I'm lucky and married. My wife is an RN (Registered Nurse) and that required an intense two year school program followed by a board certified exam. So she thought she knew what I was getting into since she had to do something similar for her own license. But the NCLEX (the nursing exam) is a one and done type deal and she passed it after about a month of intense study so the length and the difficulty of the CPA still came as a shock to her. I did my best to make time for us but I'd be lying if I said everything was sunshine, puppy dogs and rainbows. We had plenty of “All you ever do is study!” talks out of frustration. Everything worked out for us and now both of us have letters after our names (RN and CPA).
If you haven't yet, read through Jeff's CPA Survival Guide (it will only take 10 to 15 minutes). He addresses this exact issue in it. His best advice for single people is to simply put relationships on hold until after the exam. So with that my advice is similar to everyone else here. Dump her and move on. If she's too stupid to realize that you're actually almost done and will be making great money and wants to let you go now, she's not worth pursuing. Dump her, finish the exam strong and you'll find someone else.June 26, 2015 at 12:50 pm #675621AnonymousInactive
Respectfully and politely explain to her your feelings one more time. And let her go if you have to. You must finish this exam. It's your career , and I presume you are young. Once you are done you will have a lot more time for this part of life. Good luck with FAR , it is also my last exam in August!June 26, 2015 at 2:04 pm #675622ijustwant76Member
What if she's the “one”??? CPA over true love. Both are important. Make it work!
Dude, you killed the other tests. You can probably afford to ease up a notch and make a compromise.June 26, 2015 at 2:12 pm #675623y_u_no_passParticipant
The thing is if this is the person you are going to marry, she should be number one. When I started dating my fiance I was working and in my last semester of college. I let him move up my priority list and I got my only a- because of it. But he is the one I am meant to be with, and it was totally worth it. I don't know all of the particulars, but it sounds like this girl just wants to know she is a priority to you. That doesn't mean you can't take your exams. I just believe it is possible to do with the right person on your side. I would suggest you talk some more and maybe come up with a compromise, such as 3 days a week until you are done. Good luck!June 26, 2015 at 2:15 pm #675624AnonymousInactive
The way you're talking about her and allowing strangers on the Internet to talk about her suggests you aren't any more invested in the relationship than she is. If you really wanted to keep her around, you likely wouldn't be discussing it here, and you most certainly wouldn't abide other people calling her stupid and suggesting she's cheating on you, solely because she's tired of having a non-boyfriend. I think you're looking for confirmation of your own misgivings and perhaps trying to project some of the guilt you feel onto her.
You admit that you are not just taking the CPA exam. You have a lot more coursework to complete and will be pursuing other certifications after that. So, no, she is not “too stupid” to realize you are almost done because you are NOT, in fact, almost done. She has the right to feel the way she feels about that, especially if she did not fully understand the magnitude of everything you are undertaking. We talk about this all the time … no one understands how difficult and time-consuming it is except people who have been or are currently going through it. Even if you communicate it to the best of your abilities, it is difficult for “outsiders” to understand. Give her the benefit of the doubt.
Finally, you don't talk about your relationship with nearly the same passion and verve as you talk about your career goals. Maybe that is the point she's trying to make.June 26, 2015 at 2:26 pm #675625tidus808Participant
Thought I might weigh in on this a bit. My situation was slightly different from yours and slightly the same. I started dating my fiancé a couple of months after I started studying for the CPA Exam. The longer we were together the more I realized how important she was to me. She was very supportive of me and my goal. She would drive me to the testing center and when I was struggling she would encourage me. I made as much time for her as I could which meant it took me a little longer to get through the exam than some. I managed to pass all of the exams and now I'm a CPA. We plan on getting married in the coming months and at this point being her husband means much more than the letters after my name. What you have to ask yourself is “Is this person my forever?” If so, you will be willing to make sacrifices for her and she will be willing to make sacrifices for you.
Crushed the first 3 exams, now GF wants to dump me, need moral support, ahhhH!
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