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You’ve got a lovely pair of W-2’s.
Please, baby, let me withhold you.
Nice assets.
Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.
In my office, I.R.S. stands for I’m Really Sexy.
Let’s fill out a 1040 – you are a 10 and I’m a 40.
If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?
Technically, having sex with me is like a charitable gift.
You’re entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income… now let’s do it.
You’re the kind of girl I could take home to mother – which is good, since I still live with her.
How accountants do it…
Accountants do it by the book.
Accountants do it within budget.
Accountants do it to the bottom line.
Accountants do it with double entries.
Accountants do it between spreadsheets.
Accountants are Certified to do it in Public.
Accountants do it without losing their balance.
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You might be an Accountant if…
•you refer to your child as Deduction 214.
•you deduct Exlax as “Moving expenses”.
•you have no idea that GAP is also a clothing store.
•at the move Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation.
•getting to sleep is an exciting event that you look forward to all day long.
•your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
•you are doing it now because you checked the file and found that you did it last year.
•you decide to change your name to a symbol and you choose the double underline “======”.
What does an accountant do when they are constipated?
They get a pencil and work it out.
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