74. I want to die,

Viewing 27 posts - 1 through 27 (of 27 total)
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  • #2964974
    DocJ
    Participant

    No matter what you do, there's just no hope. You spend literally YEARS devoting every waking second of your life towards something, and it's still not good enough. You still get beaten down by the luck of the draw questions or study materials that just don't do jack $&#%. You lose because you chose A instead of B on ONE damn question.

    NOTHING on this planet is good enough for anybody anymore. There's simply no hope.

    At this point, even passing wouldn't feel like a victory at all. It would just be thousands of dollars and hours wasted. I have no social life, I have no friends, I have no hobbies, I am nothing. I gave EVERYTHING up for this. And these thankless f#&@s don't even have the courtesy to give me a discount after so many thousands of dollars just handed over to their greedy #%@&hole organization. The thought of passing an exam made by these greedy &$@#s just makes the whole thing empty, it really is a racket in the grand scheme, I don't care what excuses you have to make for them.

    And I can't even stop and try to get my life back together either, because I got credits expiring. Otherwise I have to start the whole damn thing over again. It's a constant, never-ending, vicious cycle.

    “Oh but you'll have better job prospects in the future!” So? A few more dollars here and there, yaaay. With the way the world is going, that sure as hell doesn't mean jack squat.

    If you passed, congrats. But in the grand scheme, nothing matters anymore.

    AUD - 75
    BEC - 81
    FAR - 74
    REG - 79
    I want to die.
    #2964983
    CPAHOPECPAHOPE
    Participant

    I feel your pain DOCJ.. I know for sure you will pass next time. Like what Jeff said study even harder for your next exam. Scream, punch a bag, do whatever necessary to release your frustration, pain, n sadness and start studying hard the next day. You will definitely make it next time. Good luck!

    AUD - 39
    BEC - 76
    FAR - 56
    REG - 79
    FAR 57,61,57,56 (F*)

    REG 54,49,69,66, 79

    AUD 39(lol)

    BEC 64,60,50(lol),70,67,71,76

     

    Brodie: Why not?

    #2964998
    CH89
    Participant

    Sorry to find out you did not pass FAR this time around. It sucks, trust me I know it, and I've been in your shoes before, failing because I missed 1 question. Blaming or pointing the finger at others for your failure isn't going to help, the sooner you can be honest with yourself the better. There is a positive take away from this though. Look at how much you have improved your score for FAR from the first time you took it, to this second time taking. As CPAHope said, study harder, and you'll get it next time. You are close, just sharpen some of those weaker concepts, and you'll have it. You can do this!

    I can also relate to how you are feeling right now too. I'm not sure how relevant this post may be, but I would encourage you to read some of these posts, there's some great words of encouragement and a sharing of stories of the struggles some candidates have gone through, myself incldued.

    Apathy



    Don't give up!

    #2965013
    DocJ
    Participant

    “study even harder”

    I have literally given up my life, exhausted my savings, and ended far too many friendships and connections for this. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!?!?!

    AUD - 75
    BEC - 81
    FAR - 74
    REG - 79
    I want to die.
    #2965040
    thunderlipsthunderlips
    Participant

    i have yet to pass one and have been at this for over 4 years, non stop. you passed three, dust yourself off, take a day or two break and go at it again. youve come this far, finish this last one and be done with it. you will regret if you give up now

    #2965043
    tmac87
    Participant

    @DocJ – I'm not even gonna act like I don't get you. When people told me “Just study hard, bro” or “I had to pass my insurance exam, and that was REALLY hard, so I understand”, it was maddening. I know how you feel with giving everything and coming up short. It sucks and you feel absolutely low (I got a 71 once and wanted to jump off a building) with no one who understands wtf is going on with you. But….. if you keep it real with yourself, is there NO subject you could study harder? Were you equally well versed in everything? I know FAR kicked my ass for the better part of 9 years. To be fair, for most of them I didn't go as hard as I could have because I was psyching myself out. But for the few I studied hard for, there were always sections I didn't get a mastery of, due to the pure volume of FAR. Then I'd always do a focus in the subjects I was weaker in, a quick review of “what I knew”, fail and get a new breakdown of the score. Rinse, repeat.

    I'm still grinding like everyone else, but I'd hate for you to give up now. I don't know how long you've been at this, but I know I'm in for quite a few grand and almost a decade I'll never get back. No point in stopping now. I'll see you in the OFFICIAL “I PASSED THE CPA EXAM” THREAD soon.

    P.S. – NASBA and State Boards are looking at potentially extending expiration dates (Original dates of 4/1 – 6/30) on NTS/Credits received due to COVID-19. They would be extended until 9/30.

    FAR - 62, 65, 62, 71, 68, 80
    REG - 76
    BEC - 79 (Expired), 69, 75 (Expired), 4/1/20
    AUD - 89 (Expired), 70, 78 (Expired), 4/13/20
    #2965049
    monikerncmonikernc
    Participant

    Hi DocJ, you’re doing great. I want you to breathe and step outside of your head for a moment. You have 3 down, one to go, and now is a great time to finish. You will get through, you will make new friends, and you will feel great for not giving up. Reach out to us when you feel discouraged. Take a step back, refocus, recenter. Think of those who love you and think of your life ahead. Positive self talk matters. Don’t look back, look forward, always! When I was studying there was CPA50 who took FAR 9 times before passing on last attempt. She lost REG and AUD before it was done. Search for her posts. She hung in. She prevailed you will, too! She had us all rooting for her and you do, too!

    AUD - 93
    BEC - 82
    FAR - 76
    REG - 88
    How have you been?
    Ninja book and MCQs and the forum, all the way!

    Licensed State of Montana April Fool’s Day 2020
    Take that!!!
    AICPA Ethics 93
    Experience was the worst part of the journey for me. You?
    If you want things to change you have to do something different.

    #2965109
    fsugirl2005
    Participant

    @DocJ

    I feel your pain. I walked out of my 3rd time taking Audit thinking I passed. Nope, got ANOTHER 73. Look at my scores. I feel the same pain over and over again. I should be done with exams by now but I kept falling short. I'm worried about my cash flow as well, given I'm budgeted until August to pass this test. If I don't, I will have to start slowly adding new clients to my roster which will take away from my studying. It's just not affordable.

    Keep your head up and keep going. I have only made it this far because of my faith in the Lord. Find out what your weak areas are and focus in those. That's what I'm doing for Audit.

    Best wishes.

    REG - 42(8/2010)--60(9/8/18)---73, Retake 6/6/2020
    FAR -  75(7/2010 - Expired)---73,74, Retake 4/11/20
    AUD---2/15/20---74,70,73
    BEC - 08/2020

    I have been on this journey off and on for almost 10 years. I think it's about time that I wrap this up.

    #2965124
    amandaaaamandaaa
    Participant

    I feel your pain 🙁 and I would have the same outlook if I failed this time too. You should take a month off and recharge. I felt so burnt out after I failed REG after passing the first three with flying colors. 74 is so close, it could’ve been a tiny mistake. Next time around will be easier because you know your weaknesses and have a feel for the kind of questions/sims you should expect.

    Don’t give up hope. Grieve right now, treat yourself, hang out with your loved ones, whatever you need to do. Give yourself a month off and then get back at it. If you got a 74, you are clearly capable and it’s just a matter of review. If you can, see a therapist. I can relate 100%. I had a suicide attempt after I failed REG and I had a panic attack during my retake and had to quit the exam with two testlets left. You’re so close though – cliche but it’s not about falling, it’s about getting back up.

    AUD - 88
    BEC - 90
    FAR - 89
    REG - 83
    THANK U NEXT
    #2965217
    monikerncmonikernc
    Participant

    Amandaaa, I am so glad you are here to share your story! I hope DocJ hears how much we all understand and know we are listening and that we care.

    AUD - 93
    BEC - 82
    FAR - 76
    REG - 88
    How have you been?
    Ninja book and MCQs and the forum, all the way!

    Licensed State of Montana April Fool’s Day 2020
    Take that!!!
    AICPA Ethics 93
    Experience was the worst part of the journey for me. You?
    If you want things to change you have to do something different.

    #2965238
    amandaaaamandaaa
    Participant

    @monikernc thank you! It’s been a comfort to have this forum to know people are also struggling. Everyone’s really supportive and it’s actually reassuring to have the release threads every quarter. This pass is giving me the confidence I’ve been needing. If we can get through this, we can get through anything!

    AUD - 88
    BEC - 90
    FAR - 89
    REG - 83
    THANK U NEXT
    #2965295
    PDiddy2000
    Participant

    @docj We're here for you buddy. This is a place for any and all CPA candidates/CPAs to voice their opinions, successes, frustrations, and failures. I'm so glad to see that most people that replied acknowledged that they understood and feel your pain. In this crazy world, this is absolutely amazing. I just failed FAR for the second time with a 71 so I feel your pain. In times like these, I keep repeating a quote from one of the best motivational speakers that I know.

    “On the other side of suffering is Greatness” David Goggins

    Let's go get this greatness!! Good Luck!!

    AUD - 75
    BEC - 78
    FAR - NINJA in Training
    REG - 77
    FAR-Mar 9,2020 (failed 71)
    BEC-Passed
    AUD-(8 weeks, over 60 hours of study time, 1877 MCQs, and 38 TBSs)-Wiley
    REG-(10 weeks, over 72 hours of study time, 2000 MCQs, and 35 TBSs)-Wiley
    #2965352
    April94
    Participant

    The only way to fail the CPA exam is to stop studying/trying completely. As long as you keep getting up every time you're beat down, you have NOT failed! Keep at it!! I failed REG with a 71 and it's gut wrenching to see how close I was, but we gotta keep on grinding to get through the tunnel!

    "It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan." -Eleanor Roosevelt

    FAR-72, 55, 82

    AUD-66, 92

    REG-71

    BEC-TBD

    #2965358
    sissy.sheep.94
    Participant

    @Docj Let it out. Your frustrations are valid and I would feel the exact same if I were in your shoes. Like others have said, take some time off, relax, recharge and get back into it. We put an insane pressure on ourselves to pass, base our self worth on what Nasba and the AICPA says, and end up crushed when we fail. It's a very unique experience and other people really don't understand.

    You're absolutely right, that in the grand scheme of things, this doesn't matter. Your self-worth, and mental state should not be dependent on passing an exam. I took a year off after failing reg, I was so angry and disappointed in myself, I felt like I had let everyone and myself down. I was afraid to try again, because if I tried, it could just end up as another failure, and I didn't want to do that again. I would say, don't get back into it until you feel like you can study and take the exam without putting this pressure on yourself. Try to gain some perspective: some people fail and just give up, some people never even start, some people fail out of their accounting classes, and some drop out after intro to accounting. Comparatively, you're so close to the end, you've got this!

    AUD - 83
    BEC - 92
    FAR - 82
    REG - 82
    Now what?
    #2965391
    AnthonyAnthony
    Participant

    Welcome to the 74 club brother. At least you didn't get the news the day you had to take BEC like me.

    AUD - 82
    BEC - 80
    FAR - 81
    REG - 82
    FAR - 74 first attempt
    #2965595
    Diesel
    Participant

    Docj, I can't wait to see you post here and say “I did it.” Because you're going to pass. Not just this test, but the entire CPA. I can feel the passion running through your veins. Keep us updated because I can't wait to hear your success story! One day you can look back on this 74 and say you went back into the game and kicked its a**. Good luck. You're going to make it through this.

    AUD - 89
    BEC - 91
    FAR - NINJA in Training
    REG - NINJA in Training
    #2965676
    Wanna_B_TXCPA2014
    Participant

    DocJ I know you know its going to be ok and you're just venting. Read some of my old posts and you'll see I've been. First 2 years I failed 7 straight times. Then hit a streak where I passed FAR, AUD, BEC, and was “stuck” on REG for 4 attempts. I passed just before losing 2/3 credits I had already earned.

    Please take it easier on yourself in relation to your feelings about not receiving a passing score. This test is truly something that will make you laugh and cry. Let out all your anger and resolve to start fresh. Do not think about your past performance only concentrate on performing your best for this next attempt. Good Luck!

    #2966114
    AndreAAndreA
    Participant

    You've got the worst score, but it means you know well the material and next time you will get it. I have a different story and my life is miserable now, but I know it's temporary. Just don't give up… you're almost there.

    FAR - 73, 78 (WileyCPAexcel 3,000+ MCQs, 50 SIMs)
    AUD - 73, 81 (WileyCPAexcel 3,000+ MCQs, 40 SIMs)
    BEC - 71,
    REG -

    "Of course it’s hard. It’s supposed to be hard. If it was easy, everyone would do it. Hard is what makes it great."

    #2966117
    monikerncmonikernc
    Participant

    I would love to hear again from DocJ. What we are learning now more than ever, and this story is a great example, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS OUR HEALTH. Don't let anything compromise your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Be your own best steward of these valuable parts of what makes us US!

    AUD - 93
    BEC - 82
    FAR - 76
    REG - 88
    How have you been?
    Ninja book and MCQs and the forum, all the way!

    Licensed State of Montana April Fool’s Day 2020
    Take that!!!
    AICPA Ethics 93
    Experience was the worst part of the journey for me. You?
    If you want things to change you have to do something different.

    #2966384
    CPAHOPECPAHOPE
    Participant

    Just one point away from this nonsense nightmare, I feel you man. I would've been hella pissed too. When i failed last time, I slammed my phone so hard that it shattered the phone screen. Yep more money to be spent. Lesson learned, I need to control my emotions at all times. Go rock the cpa next time and get that 99!

    AUD - 39
    BEC - 76
    FAR - 56
    REG - 79
    FAR 57,61,57,56 (F*)

    REG 54,49,69,66, 79

    AUD 39(lol)

    BEC 64,60,50(lol),70,67,71,76

     

    Brodie: Why not?

    #2968310
    qarnism
    Participant

    I experienced the same nightmare, I lived those difficult moments, I felt that pain..
    my word to you: don't be down, stand up and don't give up the fight, you just need one more bullet to get that monster down.

    I've got 74 1st attempt in FAR, but I passed the 2nd, 78.

    #2968388
    Pork Flavored Bacon
    Participant

    Docj, I have no more encouragement to offer you than what others here have said. Just want to tell you I know how it feels.
    .
    FAR was my one of my final two sections. It was one of the darkest times of my life. I failed it four times.

    #2968862
    Jimmy Dugan
    Participant

    Quit.

    I'm not trying to troll you or be a negative influence, this is just the logical decision in your case. I don't care what anyone says and we can rah rah all we want, but that certificate is not worth the lost relationships and eroded mental health that you are describing here.

    AUD - 95
    BEC - 87
    FAR - 84
    REG - 90
    You're killing me Smalls

     

    #2968868
    CPAHOPECPAHOPE
    Participant

    @Jimmy
    No, hes just venting thats all. I would've acted the same way if I didnt pass by one point and this was his last exam. I think you would've acted the same way but expressed in a different way.

    AUD - 39
    BEC - 76
    FAR - 56
    REG - 79
    FAR 57,61,57,56 (F*)

    REG 54,49,69,66, 79

    AUD 39(lol)

    BEC 64,60,50(lol),70,67,71,76

     

    Brodie: Why not?

    #2969288
    Jimmy Dugan
    Participant

    @CPAHOPE
    It really doesn’t matter if it’s “just venting.” This person would not be saying this if it wasn’t based in actual experience and emotion. We see it all the time here. I felt this way at least a little myself when I was going through the exam process and never failed one. The reward is not worth the agony that some people go through on this journey. Nobody wants to hear that but it just isn’t.

    AUD - 95
    BEC - 87
    FAR - 84
    REG - 90
    You're killing me Smalls

     

    #2969318
    CPAHOPECPAHOPE
    Participant

    @Jimmy Dugan,

    Yeah I see your point bro. Look at my failures, many have told me to quit this whole cpa journay, one being you can be a huge danger to the public's interest (lol) I dont know where DOCJ stands at this point, but if I quit now I would be alot more miserable than going through this hell n eventually passing the exams. I still believe i can pass them all but wow they're tough.

    AUD - 39
    BEC - 76
    FAR - 56
    REG - 79
    FAR 57,61,57,56 (F*)

    REG 54,49,69,66, 79

    AUD 39(lol)

    BEC 64,60,50(lol),70,67,71,76

     

    Brodie: Why not?

    #2970704
    dcrowdy
    Participant

    @docj

    1) do not want to die, 2) do not give up.

    While I finally passed all 4 I will let you know that I took the tests more times than anyone should, lost more scores than is even funny, had MANY 74 scores, and missed multiple opportunities for promotion. I had the same feelings you did – is it worth it? Am I happy? Should I go back to school for something? I literally thought about quitting my job for 6 months to become a dog walker and re-assess my life. I literally blamed everything bad around me on these exams.

    Passing my last one with a 76 was redemption.

    The reason I passed and i truly believe this is that I TOLD myself it would be my last time taking it. If you let negativity in, it will take over. If someone offered you a glass of water with dirt in it, you wouldn't drink it. Don't let dirt get into your head and buy into it.

    Stay strong.

    AUD - 77
    BEC - 78
    FAR - 76
    REG - 77
    "Believe in yourself, the rest is up to me and you." - TLC
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