Sarah is a NINJA CPA blogger!
If you happened to catch my last few posts, I discussed a long journey that I had regarding taking the exam twice, both with very different expected outcomes, and ending with a devastating near miss of a 71 on FAR.
I allowed it to ruin my vacation, bring me down, and basically devastate me because I had been so convinced that I had passed.
And then after that, I made the mistake of waiting. I didn't prepare to take the exam as soon as the next testing window hit – I waited and waited, and didn't schedule it until early February. By then I was NOT ready, I felt like I had forgotten everything, and I just felt like I was DONE.
At this point I had been reviewing NINJA MCQs every day for a year, and I was just over it. A week before the test I changed my test for later in February, and boy I'm glad I did.
I hit it hard over those few weeks, so hard that I was miserable. I would even stop myself from tackling hard things at work because I was conserving brain power.
By the time I got to that test center I again felt SO ready, I was amped. That only lasted until about question 10 of my first testlet. At that point I was having a serious “What is happening here?” moment. Nothing was recognizable;
I literally checked the home screen to make sure it was the right test. I was so confused – “what is this, this is nothing like last time!?”
I got so discouraged, I think I almost gave up. I think I tried as hard as I could, but a huge part of me was convinced that it was impossible because it was so unrecognizable.
I was sobbing in the test center, and had to take a break to compose myself in the bathroom (which consisted of loud embarrassing crying at my dismal failure – good thing they take your picture when coming back in, right??)
I finished that miserable test and left the center. I texted all of my friends and family and said “It's over, it was horrible – I don't want to talk about it now or ever.” I told myself over the coming weeks not to talk myself around to hoping for a pass, because I KNEW I had failed.
When March 10th finally came around, I couldn't bring myself to check my score before going to bed, because I knew I wouldn't sleep after seeing a bitter disappointment.
The result was that I tossed and turned for 3 hours dreaming about failing, and somehow turning it into a Biggest Loser CPA edition in my dream… I finally just woke up and checked my phone to see what I got.
Are you ready for this? 74. SEVENTY FOUR. That means that all of my discouragement at the test center was completely misplaced – I was so close! Maybe if I hadn't let myself fall apart and give up a little (I'm still not sure that I gave up, I really gave all the info I had in my brain), I would have grabbed that last little point??
I'm still kicking myself, but was weirdly pleased with that score. I ran into the living room where my husband was on an all-night writing bender, and told him the news. His reaction was the same as mine, sort of a hesitant, “Congratulations you didn't fail as bad as you thought you would!”
Anyway, here I am a year after seriously starting my journey to CPA-land, and I'm one little point away. I now know that I can do it, and I have the freshly printed Notice to Schedule to prove it next time.