I havent really made any big secret about my current health problems. I figured if I could be honest about my struggles with the CPA exam then I could be honest about this as well.
About a month ago, my regular doctor told me that I had a 1-centimeter mass in the left side of my thyroid. Nothing scares a person more than hearing the words You have a mass, but dont worry.
Telling me not to worry was like throwing gas on a fire.
I spent the next two weeks looking for a doctor who would/could see me ASAP. I had gotten to the point that I couldnt talk and I couldnt swallow. The only things I have been able to eat for the past two weeks have been applesauce and pudding.
Eating just applesauce and pudding will definitely cause you to lose weight quickly. Im down to 99 pounds, which is seriously unhealthy for any 40 something year old woman. Frankly, Im pretty sick of both of them.
After a month of worry, starvation and absolutely freaking out, I finally found a doctor who would see me, examine me and actually talk to me. It turns out the mass in my thyroid is benign.
The reason I couldnt eat or talk has been due to a stricture of the esophagus caused by a possible ulcer and/or damage from previous ulcers. At least this doctor, an Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist, understands me or at least tries to understand me.
His exact phrase to describe me is a Type-A, number crunching person. I guess that does pretty much sum it up. He said that telling me not to worry and to eliminate all stress would only make things worse, if I did have an ulcer.
He advised me to take control of any and all situations that I could actually control. My life has been out of control for quite some time with housework, work, tests, score release and the possibility of losing another score.
For now, Im learning to multi-task. Ive listened to lectures while I cleaned my office and reclaimed my desk. Ive bought a television that I can connect to my laptop and had it mounted over my desk. I can watch lectures on the television while Im folding laundry and taking notes.
I have one computer set up with Excel open constantly. Another computer set up with Word open to type notes. I have my review book open on the laptop screen so that I see the problems that I need to work and I have the present value tables open on my Kindle Fire.
My only real problem with this set up is that I have far too many keyboards and mice (or is that mouses?). I also have the NINJA Audio on my iPod so that I can listen to it where ever I go.
I know all of this sounds like overkill, but I feel like I have to go over board to gain control. There are some things that are out of my control, such as score release, but I can control how and when I study.
Ive talked to my boss and hopefully I can start working from home two or three days a week. The constant phone calls and people asking When are my reports going to be ready? are going to drive me insane. Its hard to get anything done when you spend most of your time on the phone instead of getting the work done.
My thyroid medicine is finally under control so no more foggy feeling and no more trying to build rockets in the dark while Im drunk. It took a while, which I expected, but I am beginning to feel like me again.
One thing the doctor did tell me to do is to speak my mind and not keep feelings bottled up. So consider this a warning. I can let some things just roll off my back but when things get personal, well Im probably going to turn into the POCA. I apologize in advance. LOL
I have FAR scheduled for November 21st. Audit expires November 26th. I have plenty of time to get this done and I intend to get my life back. Im not even considering losing Audit because it isnt going to happen.
I have contacted the State Board, just in case, and the director was very helpful and very compassionate. I told him that I didnt want to ask for an extension and I wasnt going to unless the doctors came back with a diagnosis of cancer.
He put my mind at ease and sent me an e-mail explaining the procedures. He ended the e-mail by telling me that I wouldnt have to ask for an extension because I was being a good accountant, the kind we needed more of, because I was getting my disaster plan in place.
I have a positive attitude and that is half of the battle. I am scheduled for an upper GI Tuesday the 23rd and we will have a definitive diagnosis. If this is an ulcer, which I strongly believe it is, then I can deal with it. Ive been there, done that and got three t-shirts to prove it.
For now, I can eat and I can talk. Just having a doctor that is willing to talk to me and understands what will help me and what will make me worse, is like having a ton of bricks taken off of my shoulders.
The final fight is in 30 days. Im declaring November 21, 2012 my Independence Day! Im going to get my ticket punched and get off of this slow train ride through hell. Four and a half years has been long enough.
Its time to reclaim my life and then Im going to prop my far too skinny butt up on a beach somewhere and drink non-alcoholic drinks and eat everything in sight!